If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say ...

... Don't say anything at all. I'm fairly certain most of of have heard that at some point in our lives. Most commonly from mom. Yes, I'm going to blog about mom's! So what?! Christie, seriously it's like almost a whole week after Mother's Day. Yeah well ... I'm unconventional. Anyway, mom's are worth so much more than just telling us to keep our stinkin mouth's shut. However, that is one of their best talents. After all, most mom's can shoot a death stare that can make their kids nearly pee their pants. I mean a look ... and small children are running.

I know this isn't in time for Mother's Day, my mom had shoulder surgery the Friday before Mother's Day and I spent the weekend and first part of this week with her trying to ease some of the excruciating pain she was and is feeling. Needless to say I didn't have much time to spend on a computer having nonsensical conversations with myself and typing it down. But I went because that's what you do. My mom spent the first 22 years of my life spending every waking and some non waking moments worried about every aspect of my life. Is she driving safe? Did she wear her seatbelt? Is she keeping her nose clean? Is she doing well in school? Did she remember her jacket? And that's just the first 3 seconds of the day. Now she just worries about me every hour or so.

Let me rewind a little for you. My mom had to have one ovary removed when she was just a teenager. So when she got pregnant with my oldest brother it was nearly a miracle. Then just 17 months later my middle brother was born. Another miracle - 2 babies one ovary short. Then 14 months later I hit the world ... sorry. But before I was born, and before amazing technological advances you didn't know what you were having til they made their appearance. My mom had two boys, and wanted a girl more than anything. She tells me she prayed so hard I was a girl and so much that she swears Jesus came to her one night and stood at the end of the bed and told her to stop worrying. Really Jesus or random hallucination from an overworked mother of 2 toddlers hormones raging? I'm not sure. Either way she stopped worrying and low and behold they had a girl. A bald not very cute baby girl, but a girl none the less! She's spent every day praising God since.

She's also spent every moment since being the very absolute best mother possible. Perfect? No. What? I'm just being honest in the fact that no human anywhere ever is perfect. But the best? Yes. Every Birthday growing up extremely special, all themed and all awesome. She worked exceptionally hard to make sure our childhood was both happy and memorable. She also spent an immense amount of time supporting each one of us in our endeavors. My oldest brother and I having the most radical. I wanted to do so many activities it's a wonder my mother didn't go completely insane. But never the less I was afforded everything from dance lessons, to piano lessons for almost 10 years, to swim team, to track, to girl scouts to to to ... I could go on for awhile. And guess what, my mom was there for nearly all of it.

Not only did she work hard, but she taught me a lot as well. She taught me good habits and bad. Responsibility, to love Jesus, pride, manners, perseverance, loyalty, friendship, humility, honesty, the value of hard work, and unconditional love. I was a little crap when I was a kid. I tattled - a lot. I whined - a lot. I suffered from LSS ... Little Sister Syndrome. It's no excuse, no, it's just that when I felt trapped in a corner by my bro's I'd do the only thing I could ... be a jerk. Run to mommy and tattle. Needless to say, sometimes I picked fights with my brothers, and I'm sure had a beating coming to me, but I always ran. Eventually my mom caught on and told me that I either needed to stay away from them, or learn to defend myself. I couldn't keep running to her all the time. But she loved me still. Imperfect, crappy, ugly little me.

Now when I say ugly, I'm not doing the skinny-girl-calling-herself-fat thing. No no. My 8th grade confirmation picture is up in the basement of my home church in Toledo, a dress up picture, and every time we go my husband likes to take time to admire the photo and tell me exactly how not-at-all pretty I was. Oh yes. My loving husband enjoys letting me know how awesomely unattractive I used to be from about age 5- ... well ... we're still counting. So proof positive that I had some desperately ugly years. My mom did her due diligence telling me I was the prettiest girl in school and tried desperately to make me feel special. Which if I'm honest, she succeeded in quite often.

I like to think about the biggest impact my mom had on me, but to be honest, there isn't just one. All of the things I listed earlier are HUGE parts of who I am. All parts that compose a good mommy. And when I was young, I desperately wanted to be my mommy. Pretty, successful, humble, God fearing, loving ... things I still strive to be. My mother has uncompromising faith, fierce love, and uncontested loyalty to her family and friends. At the end of the day, she is one mama bear you do NOT want to mess with. She is smart, strong, capable, and compassionate. Qualities she would never admit to having. Humble.

There are probably a thousand stories I could tell about my mom expressing each of these qualities, like the time I got sick my freshman year of college. Not just cough cough sick, like ferociously sick. She made the hour drive in 45 minutes to bring me medicine and love her little baby girl. There is nothing my mom wouldn't do for me, no question. And that's how I want my daughter to see me. An awesome example of how to love ... God, her family, and life.

As the years pass, I see a lot of my mom in me. Some good, some not my favorite, but I know I am unashamably imperfect. (There's your made up word for today, unashamably) But it's not about the imperfections, it's about what we strive to be. Always better, always with love, and always looking for the best in others.

Call your mom and tell her you love her today ... guarantee it'll make her day every time.

Love you mom. <3