I did a post a little while ago about things that "Grind My Gears." And I just was reading through it and laughed out loud, at work. First things first, when people toot their own horn it really frosts my cookies. So I'm gonna stop, but it did make me think how much I liked that post, and am going to do it again.
So there's this hand soap pump from Lysol now. You seen these? No touch soap dispensers. I'm goin banana's tryin to figure out A. who came up with such a stupid idea, and Second, who's buying this??? You do realize that you are about to ... Ahem ... WASH your hands right? It doesn't matter if you touch the stinkin pump or not!! Whatever germs you may happen to aquire during said soap disppensal, you will subsequently wash off in 3 seconds. WHY?! Why. It just perpetuates the germaphobic society we have become. KNOCK IT OFF! Or we'll think ourselves into sepsis and never recover.
Speaking of germaphobes, it's time to stop worrying that you're going to catch a cold. I sneeze a hundred miles away from you, into my elbow and I get stared down like I just drop kicked a puppy. Sorry my nose hairs were full and needed emptying. My apologies your highness. Doesn't even count I covered! Being sick stinks, I get it, but really. Here's a neat fact! When you do get sick, your body builds up immunities so you will never get the same cold twice! There ya go. Get sick and stop lookin at me like I'm the Unibomber trying to infect you. It's not anthrax, it's just a sneeze. (Side fact: those handy hand sanitizers we're all using, is actually making the problem worse, because the germs it DOESN'T kill mutate and become bigger and badder ... so thanks for making ME sick! HA!)
People who throw plastic bottles in the trash can with a recycle bin 20 feet away. Really? You're just that lazy. Can't make the effort to hang on to the bottle while you're on your way out the door to drop it in it's appropriate recepticle? Huh. Neat. Thanks for ruining the weather ding dong. Pry the same jerk that likes to wear his flippie floppies and cut offs when it's negative 40 out. Consideration goes a long way, don't be dumb. Recylce your stuff!
The NBA. Stop Crying.
People who think the world literally revolves around them. You see these people? Yeah you know what I'm talkin about. The one's that stop in the exact middle of the grocery isle so that you cannot in anyway get around them. The grocery store is the worst for this. These folks sittin there with their gigantic cart full of Stouffer's goin, "Now what did I come down here for? I clearly know there is someone behind me, but I'm just going to stand here like an ignorant knucklehead and block the way so they have to turn the cart around, go down the next isle and come through the other side just to get those sponges. What a fun game this is!" Yeah, move. Get out of my way. I don't care if you lollygag. Just as long as you don't block me in the process. Pull your cart OVER and figure it out. It's groceries, not rocket science - which my husband says really isn't that hard, but we're not gonna go there. Most recently, true story by the way, I went into a local grocery for 3 gift cards. Two of them were the same, and two women were blocking one whole section of the gift cards. Not only with their bodies, but their carts as well. When I eventually got ticked and slithered my way between the cart and my coveted gift cards, I even said sorry and excuse me, my coat happened to knock ONE card off the wall, because SOMEONE wouldn't move her cart an INCH! And you'da thought I just kicked a kitten! Oh my heavens, it's raining gift cards! Sweet mercy someone should really stop that woman before she knocks one more off! Like I was a crazed gift card snatching lunatic on the loose. It happened, my husband is a witness.
People who drive below the posted speed limit. Safety first and all that, but either go the right speed or get off the road. Some people want to make it to their desired destination sometime this millenia. I got stuff to do, it's super you don't, but seriously, move.
People who don't know what they're doing when they work out. I work in a rec now and sit at a desk and get to watch people work out. When I was swimming in college, we did a lot out of the water too including lifting and cardio. I know the correct form and way to workout. Many people do not and it desperately makes want to go up to them and slap them upside the head. It's cool if you don't know what you're doing, but ask someone, don't look like an idiot. Although complete idiocy I suppose is your perogative, just don't think anyone is subsequently impressed.
Well that's all that's ticking me off currently. I'm sure I'll have more just give it another 6 months! Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it ... Stay giggly my friends!
So there's this hand soap pump from Lysol now. You seen these? No touch soap dispensers. I'm goin banana's tryin to figure out A. who came up with such a stupid idea, and Second, who's buying this??? You do realize that you are about to ... Ahem ... WASH your hands right? It doesn't matter if you touch the stinkin pump or not!! Whatever germs you may happen to aquire during said soap disppensal, you will subsequently wash off in 3 seconds. WHY?! Why. It just perpetuates the germaphobic society we have become. KNOCK IT OFF! Or we'll think ourselves into sepsis and never recover.
Speaking of germaphobes, it's time to stop worrying that you're going to catch a cold. I sneeze a hundred miles away from you, into my elbow and I get stared down like I just drop kicked a puppy. Sorry my nose hairs were full and needed emptying. My apologies your highness. Doesn't even count I covered! Being sick stinks, I get it, but really. Here's a neat fact! When you do get sick, your body builds up immunities so you will never get the same cold twice! There ya go. Get sick and stop lookin at me like I'm the Unibomber trying to infect you. It's not anthrax, it's just a sneeze. (Side fact: those handy hand sanitizers we're all using, is actually making the problem worse, because the germs it DOESN'T kill mutate and become bigger and badder ... so thanks for making ME sick! HA!)
People who throw plastic bottles in the trash can with a recycle bin 20 feet away. Really? You're just that lazy. Can't make the effort to hang on to the bottle while you're on your way out the door to drop it in it's appropriate recepticle? Huh. Neat. Thanks for ruining the weather ding dong. Pry the same jerk that likes to wear his flippie floppies and cut offs when it's negative 40 out. Consideration goes a long way, don't be dumb. Recylce your stuff!
The NBA. Stop Crying.
People who think the world literally revolves around them. You see these people? Yeah you know what I'm talkin about. The one's that stop in the exact middle of the grocery isle so that you cannot in anyway get around them. The grocery store is the worst for this. These folks sittin there with their gigantic cart full of Stouffer's goin, "Now what did I come down here for? I clearly know there is someone behind me, but I'm just going to stand here like an ignorant knucklehead and block the way so they have to turn the cart around, go down the next isle and come through the other side just to get those sponges. What a fun game this is!" Yeah, move. Get out of my way. I don't care if you lollygag. Just as long as you don't block me in the process. Pull your cart OVER and figure it out. It's groceries, not rocket science - which my husband says really isn't that hard, but we're not gonna go there. Most recently, true story by the way, I went into a local grocery for 3 gift cards. Two of them were the same, and two women were blocking one whole section of the gift cards. Not only with their bodies, but their carts as well. When I eventually got ticked and slithered my way between the cart and my coveted gift cards, I even said sorry and excuse me, my coat happened to knock ONE card off the wall, because SOMEONE wouldn't move her cart an INCH! And you'da thought I just kicked a kitten! Oh my heavens, it's raining gift cards! Sweet mercy someone should really stop that woman before she knocks one more off! Like I was a crazed gift card snatching lunatic on the loose. It happened, my husband is a witness.
People who drive below the posted speed limit. Safety first and all that, but either go the right speed or get off the road. Some people want to make it to their desired destination sometime this millenia. I got stuff to do, it's super you don't, but seriously, move.
People who don't know what they're doing when they work out. I work in a rec now and sit at a desk and get to watch people work out. When I was swimming in college, we did a lot out of the water too including lifting and cardio. I know the correct form and way to workout. Many people do not and it desperately makes want to go up to them and slap them upside the head. It's cool if you don't know what you're doing, but ask someone, don't look like an idiot. Although complete idiocy I suppose is your perogative, just don't think anyone is subsequently impressed.
Well that's all that's ticking me off currently. I'm sure I'll have more just give it another 6 months! Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it ... Stay giggly my friends!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Disagree? Agree? Have more info? Wanna punch me in the face? Tell me!