Safety First!!

My husband is constantly antagonizing me for things he knows get under my skin. It's kinda like a game for him, see how nuts I can make Christie. He just thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever seen to watch this Kraut (that's slang for German) go bat crap crazy. One of his favorites is to make fun of the fact that I'm a Lifeguard. Sure Lifeguard and Professional Rescuer don't sound like they belong together but rest assured they do. Lifeguards save lives all the time around the country and it's a job that MUST be taken seriously or people could die. If that's not serious I don't know what is. Never the less he likes to make fun of me for being hyper vigilant. I have been a lifeguard since I was 16 and when you have over a decade of experience doing something, you can't really turn it off. Kinda like how I'd like him to turn off his engineering but it's ALWAYS on!!

Take for example when we were in Aruba on our honeymoon, there were some European kids that were constantly running around the pool at our resort. I told my new husband every day those kids shouldn't run they're going to get hurt. What do you think happened?? Last day we were there, we're walking by the outdoor pool side bar and there is a huge crowd of people. One of those kids was running, slipped and skidded across one of the GIGANTIC bolts holding up the pillars for the awning on the bar. And I do mean GIGANTIC. This kid had a vicious gash up his leg and would most definitely have to go to a hospital in Aruba. There. Told ya so!!

One of the things that I am most hyper vigilant about is pool and water safety. Water safety had been ingrained in me even before I was a Lifeguard. One set of grandparents lived on a lake and the other set had an above ground pool. It was clear from day 1 we were to be careful. Needless to say when my dad became a Fireman and EMT things escalated to the next level of BE SAFE. I still remember our safety plan if the house I grew up in ever caught fire. At any rate, this is something that is especially important to me.

I recently went to a development pool with a few friends; moms with children the same age as my sweet cheeks. We got on the subject of pool/water safety and it broke my heart to say that there have been several child drownings I have heard about in the Cleveland/NE Ohio area. To do my best to make sure this doesn't happen to anyone I know, here is what you need to know to be water safe.

1. Get your kids into swim lessons ASAP. I am extremely passionate about the fact that every child should learn how to swim! Not just because I'm a swimmer, or a Lifeguard, or because I teach swim lessons, but because it could save their life and it's a life skill. My pumpkin and I practice in the bathtub. We practice lying on our back, kicking with straight knees, forward arm motion and blowing bubbles. You don't need a pool to practice the basics with your kids and get them comfortable with the idea of being in water.

2. From day 1 tell your kids to BE SAFE AROUND WATER. Some kids will listen better than others, I understand. But always tell your child to NEVER go around water without you. In swim lessons when I talk about safety I always have the kids repeat "NEVER SWIM ALONE." To promise me they'll always go swimming with a parent, adult or Lifeguard. Treat areas of water like a parking lot - same rules apply! Don't go running off, hold my hand, stay by me. That being said, if your child can't swim or can't swim well, YOU SHOULD NOT LEAVE THEM ALONE. I made a save on a little girl once at a pool party who got confused and thought she could go off the diving board like the other little girls. She got in line and unbeknownst to me, hadn't passed the swim test. She went off and couldn't get to the edge. Her mother was not there and by the time she got there was LIVID. By the way her daughter was 100% completely fine - until mommy came around screaming at her. Please know, that your child is YOUR responsibility. If they can't swim, you shouldn't leave them at a swim party. End. Of. Story. If you MUST leave your child, you need to leave explicit instructions with the other parents and Lifeguards on duty your child can't swim and should not leave the shallow end.

3. BE VIGILANT. Water is always something we adults want to relax around. If you  have children you should NOT EVER go to water expecting to relax. There was a headline I read this summer about a child who drowned because the babysitter was Facebooking. When you are around water with children BE THERE. It literally only takes a few seconds for a child to drown and only 2 inches of water. Know where your child is and if the water is knee deep or higher be within arms reach of your child (unless it's a baby, then it's obvious). Also know who you are leaving your children with and if there is a possibility they will be around water.

4. Just because your child is wearing a floatation device does NOT mean you don't have to pay attention anymore. The pool I started working at when I first became a Lifeguard had a rule, if your child has to wear a floatation device you MUST be within arms reach. I can't begin to tell you how many parents gave me attitude about this rule. News flash cocky parent, when your kid gets kicked in the head, or knocked out of their floaty ring and are in too deep of water to touch or unconscious, you're gonna feel really bad then. It happens, you need to be there! Lifeguards should be a last resort for preventable incidents!!

5. Know the signs of drowning. A Lifeguard recently had to save a little girl from drowning who was inches away from her father who was clueless she was in jeopardy. If your child is bobbing up and down and not making forward motion in the water while flailing arms - this is a sign they are in trouble!! Don't write everything off as play. Some drowning victims cannot call out for help so it is important to be aware and pay attention. Know how your child swims and how they play to know the difference between innocent bobs in the water and drowning. Remind your children not to call out for help unless they actually need it. I was on duty once and had to tell a little girl to please stop screaming help who clearly did not need it playing in the sand at waters edge. Lifeguards are trained to listen for cries for help and it is distracting when a child who is not in danger continues to do so.

6. Children should have fun in and around water. But it's important to do it safely. Don't encourage dangerous activities such as balancing on floatation devices like noodles or wake boards near pool edges or hard surfaces. Make sure to tell your children to NEVER run on pool decks. They are incredibly slippery and your child could fall and suffer head trauma. Make sure your kids don't participate in games where "dunking" or shoving under water is called for. This one sounds no fun but can be hard to determine when children need help or are playing. Just tell your kids no dunking!

7. If you have water at your house TAKE THE NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS. Have it fenced off with a LOCKING gate. Post a sign that the fence MUST ALWAYS BE LOCKED for guests or maintenance people. Have a Ring Buoy available. If you have children either put locks at the top of your doors and keep them locked or put alarms on the doors to know when children go out. If you are outside and so are your children DO NOT mow the lawn or other distracting activities. Even if other precautions are taken children disobey and can get into pools and other areas where they are not supposed to be. If you are not around you will not see or hear if they need help.

Lastly ... if you do ever see an emergency here is how to react. CALL FOR ADDITIONAL HELP! If you are alone call 911 FIRST - tell them what the emergency is, where you are and to send help. Leave the phone on, operators will not hang up for at least the first few minutes. Plus they can help trace where you are if that was not heard or understood. Next, if you cannot swim well DO NOT GO IN AFTER A DROWNING VICTIM!!! EVER!!! A drowning persons natural instinct is to push or pull themselves higher up. This means they will latch on to you and push you down under the water to get themselves up to safety. If you cannot swim well, or know what you're doing, going in the water will put your life in serious danger. NEVER underestimate what a human can do under such serious duress. You can't help someone if you too are drowning. If this is the case look for something to either throw out to them or reach to them. Items could be a Ring Buoy - the "lifesaver" commonly seen hanging around water areas. To use: Unravel the chord, step on the end, throw PAST the person in need, crouch down low to the ground, and pull in hand over hand slowly yelling to the victim to "GRAB ON!" If first attempt is unsuccessful, pull in quickly and try again. You can also use a noodle, a towel, a milk jug on a rope or a long stick. It's HIGHLY important if you are reaching out to someone that you are LOW to the ground. You'll do them no good if they pull you into the water as well. Pull the person into safety as quickly as possible. Try to wrap them in a dry towel or clothes and have them lie down. Be sure to tell them help is on the way. If you pull an unconscious person from water, perform CPR if you know it.

Please note this is NOT a professional rescuer class. I'm not a licensed instructor. DO NOT count this blog as a course in professional rescuing!! YOU ARE NOT NOW A PROFESSIONAL RESCUER! This is the bare essentials basics to helping you and your family stay safe around water! Merely tips and guidelines to help you in an emergency and hopefully prevent emergencies. I STRONGLY encourage you to take a CPR course at your local Fire Department, community center or Red Cross.

BE SAFE. BE SMART. BE VIGILANT! PROTECT YOUR KIDS!

Ned Flandersessesessses

"Ned Flanders: [surprised by the pink mutated multi-eyed squirrel] Well, this certainly seems odd, but, heh, who am I to question the work of the Almighty? Oh, we thank you Lord for this mighty fine intelligent design! Good job!" - IMDB. Some of you know the incredibly hilarious work of Matt Groening, the creator of the Simpsons. And if you don't, it's an animated show about a hyper dysfunctional family - The Simpsons. A main character of the show is the main families next door neighbor ... Ned Flanders. Ned is the epitome of a goody-two-shoes. He never curses, goes to church every Sunday, wears his mustache proudly and is absolutely devout. At times even more so than the town minister - Reverend Lovejoy. Naturally the main character Homer Simpson hates his neighbor, primarily because Ned is everything Homer isn't. 

So in all honesty, is Ned Flanders an accurate representation of a Christian? I have to say, partly, yeah. There are all kinds of stigma's out there about Christians. And to be fair, I'm really sick of being associated with "ignorant bigots."  I have been called that by people I don't know based solely on the fact that I am a follower of Jesus. Okay things just got real up in here people!  ... She said "Jesus" which is right up there with the F-Bomb!! Sweet Mercy! I'm embarrassed, is she gonna preach to me? What is this blog turning INTO?!?!

Okay woah ... take a breath .... iiiiinnnn and ooouuutt. Better? Great. No. I'm not going to preach, possibly teach, but definitely not preach. I'm also not going to throw Christianity down your throat. The SOLE purpose of this post is to hopefully shed some light on Christianity and religion, answer questions you MAY have and if nothing else, enlighten you. Even if Jesus isn't your thing, please finish this post. It's not too long, and you may just learn something!

There is a lot of talk about Christians and Christianity these days, especially with things like gay marriage on the ballot, it's turning into a bit of a he said she said all out war out there. Makes me sad. Sad to see so much hate back and forth. And in that battle (that I'm not really a part of) I end up being called names I don't deserve to be called which makes me very sad and a little angry to be frank. Now I can't go into everything with you today or this blog post would be about a thousand pages long and lets face facts, no one can tolerate that much of me. But here are some simple basics for those of you not "in the know."

First of all God loves everyone. Let's put that misnomer to bed right here and now. There are 2 kinds of Christians in the world, the minority of LOUD extremists who twist the truth to fit their ideals. THIS is the face of current Christianity and it's not right. They do NOT accurately reflect what and who God is. Then there is the MAJORITY of silent Christians. Those of us who believe in the Love, Peace, Joy, Grace, Mercy, Love, Power, Authority, Love, Kindness, Caring, Generosity, and Love of God. We believe these things, but because of the loud minority and those who do not want to know Christians as anything else, we are not heard. God's love cannot be heard above the noise. The noise of stigma, the noise of hatred, the noise of politics - too much noise. Or we do not speak up because we are too terrified of being persecuted based on the aforementioned stigma and being called an "ignorant fool" for saying that God loves everyone no exceptions. (That actually happened once, I'm not kidding.) So if you are gay, straight, single, married, happy, sad, divorced, lonely, devoted, lost, found, homeless, friendless, helpless, hopeless ... God loves you. He sees you no matter who you are, or where you are and He loves you beyond any love you could ever know in this life. The beauty of it is that there is probably no more IMPERFECT person that walks this earth than me. I mess up like it's my job ... pretty much literally. And the truth that I must face is that NO MATTER WHAT I DO ... God loves me. Doesn't matter if I don't like what I see in the mirror; hate my voice, hate my hair, hate my varicose veins before 30, hate my stomach, hate my ears, hate hate hate ...  God loves. He made me. He created everything about me JUST EXACTLY the way He wanted me. If nothing else that makes me take pause right there. To know I hate me and it makes my God sad. If I hate me and it makes Him sad, how do you think He feels when we hate each other????  God is Love. Even if you don't learn anything else in this post, know that.

Next. I've been told I'm an idiot because I told someone that Atheism is a religion. Well, I went to a Liberal Arts College and took 2 Religion classes there and learned a TON about many different religions, including my own. Hate to break it to you, but 2 Ph.D's of religion and apparently whomever wrote and published our text books agreed, Atheism is the belief in nothing - no God, no higher power, nothing. The definition of religion is the belief in something. Even if that belief is in nothing ... it's still a belief, thus making Atheism a religion. So if you denounce religion and consider yourself an Atheist ... know that you are still a religion. Just a fact. I didn't make the rules, I'm just followin em.

I may be the last man standing on this, but the Bible is a historical document. Yeah, I know, silly crazy Christie, there she goes again! So let's think this one through a little bit. There are sections of the current standard Bible - Old Testament and New Testament. The Old Testament is the section before Jesus, the NEW Testament tells about Jesus and what Christians believe - the Gospel or "Good News" about Jesus. (If you want to learn more about Jesus, I encourage you to pick up, borrow or download a Bible and skip on down to the New Testament and read about him. You can also use a new fangled thing called The Internets and Google you some Christ! Beware, that might not bring you the most accurate information, but if nothing else it's a start!) Now a lot of the Old Testament takes place - like it's a play or something - in or around Egypt. Mostly due to the fact that there was a time in history when the Egyptians used the Jews as slaves. Thanks to archeologists - The Indiana Jones's of the world we know that the Egyptians were master record keepers. They liked to write so much they invented paper - papyrus, processed palm leaves. They also had dudes called Scribes. Since not everyone in that day could write, it was considered a skill, there was a specific job just for people to walk around and write stuff down. No I'm not kidding. This was a time of the original tablet ... of stone. So they would go about and follow people around and write everything they said and did down, roll it up, and put it in storage. So back to the Bible, well we know that many of the passages of the Bible are accurate because we can compare them with official Egyptian records of the Pharaoh from the same time. They reflect the same dates, names and cities. Sometimes the actual event details can look a little different depending on who wrote it, but let's face facts, there are always 2 sides to every story - am I right? Needless to say, scholars have been able to verify much of the Bible  using other official documents from the Egyptians or the Romans who were ALSO amazing at writin stuff down. In fact, it's the Romans who killed Jesus, and they're the one's who wrote all that stuff down for us about the who, what, where, when, why etc. So thanks Romans! There are also sections of the Bible that are written in the form of a letter from one person to another or a set of people's. These letters were written down and saved, passed down for generations, collected and compiled. I will say that sometimes passages talk about our beliefs or personal stories or even prophecies - things that are less tangible, but never the less, the historical accuracy of the Bible shouldn't be discounted. Just somethin to think about and hopefully read about.

Lastly, if you are a skeptic, which many people are, I understand. If I'm honest and truthful with myself, which I'm often not - no Christie, that shirt does NOT accentuate your fupa! - I've had doubts about God myself. There are so many things that happen in this world and in our lives that sometimes it feels like God can't be real. If He was the world would be a perfect place. Our God is a loving and faithful God and made a promise to every one of us - believer or not - that He would always be there for us. Hurt with us, cry with us, comfort us, love us and never ever ever leave us. Even when we turn our back on Him, or have never known about Him, He is always there. Because He is our creator, our "Father", and He fulfills His promises. It has been proven in the past, and if we open our eyes to it, He does now too. The thing about belief is that it's tricky. God doesn't make Himself known in burning bushes that aren't consumed, or show up at the local watering hole in the form of a person like He did in the past. He's not that visible because He doesn't need to be. We need to be faithful without having seen or touched. And in an overstimulated society where if it doesn't look real we're unamused, that can be a hard thing. Which is why the reward is that much sweeter. I live my life with so much less stress, worry, hate, anger, fear, doubt, and anxiety because of my God.

Ned Flanders gets flack from Homer all the time about living such a tight life. Flanders lives in fear of going to hell so does everything including the impossible (it's a cartoon) to ensure that doesn't happen. But in doing so, he often DOES reflect a good Christian. He teaches his children about God and love, makes sure they are kind, treats Homer like he would want himself to be treated - even though Homer is consistent in his antagonizing, he is a community leader and is caring and compassionate toward others. These are the things that I wish more people could see. Instead of viewing all Christians as "do-gooder, ignorant, bigoted, fools" I wish we were considered the kindhearted, generous, caring, joyful, loving, voice of reason.

If you have more questions on Christianity, and I sincerely hope you do, here is a GREAT book for beginning your investigation: The Case For Christ by Lee Strobel. He was an Atheist who set out to completely disprove God, and during his quest became a Christian because of the undeniable evidence he found. This may not be the case for you, but it is an excellent resource for information and intellectual insights.

Lastly, please remember 2 things. First, God is Love. Second Christians aren't perfect - no one is. We try our imperfect best to put a little good into the world which is what God wants. And to be honest, we make mistakes. But that should not be a reason to write off an entire religion or lump a huge group of people (2.18 Billion Christians) into one little category. We are not all the same but true Christians should set somewhat of an example of how to live a joy filled, happy, loving life by caring for those around them. Doesn't mean they won't slip up, we're all human ... but it does mean if we have that happiness inside, we should try to spread it.

Hope this addressed at least SOME of the stigma associated with Christianity and that if you are not a follower of Christ, you would be open to educating yourself further on what that means - even if you never consider yourself a follower, it would be handy to have all the facts.

Thanks for listening ... er uh I mean reading and I sincerely hope this brought some light and insight into your life.