Mook

I'm going to begin by saying the speakers in my office aren't working so I cannot listen to Pandora ... thus, I have no idea how good this blog post is going to be.

On with the show! So I've had some GREAT news recently!! So many women are pregnant!! YAY!! Many of them first time mommies ... bout time ... and a few second time mommies!! These are all women I totally love and respect and am thrilled to death for them and their spouses.

This news has me and my mommy senses tingling. I'm looking and listening and just more aware of babies and baby stuff. Today - true story - I was doing a little Target therapy and as my lil monkey pointed out there were several babies there! Awww love babies! As we proceed to check out and go to the car I notice in several of the baby carts, cartons of formula. Now I literally do not judge ... I can't, I don't know these people at all. But it does make me sad. When I was taking my parenting classes SOOOO MANY women are deliberately choosing to formula feed over breastfeeding. Now if you're a guy reading this, you're like "aaaand I'm out" ... but I really truly implore you to keep reading. If you ever want to have children, are expecting children etc ... this is information that you really should know because it will ultimately help shape your child's life.

First of all ... lets all get it out ... Breastfeeding ... *awkward laughter* and we're done. I'm going to call it what it is, so let's all man up and read on. I'm not sure why so many people are reverting to formula over breastmilk. I'm a die hard firm believer in nursing and I'm going to tell you why.

When doing research when I was pregnant I found out a LOT of information on breastfeeding. I mean a lot. I even took a class on it. The nurse who lead the class was extremely informative and professional and gave pro's and con's to breastfeeding and formula feeding. To me the choice was completely obvious. The pro's for breastfed children vastly outweigh formula fed babies. Now I know what you're thinking right now ... Christie so you're condemning women or parents who choose to formula feed?! Like we're bad parents or something?!!! No. To each their own. I just want to tell you and especially the new parents and parents to be the extreme benefits to breastfeeding so that the consideration gets a fair shake.

Here are some facts about formula. It's convenient. No doubt about it you can milk shake up a bottle for your babe anywhere. It's extremely expensive. On average a container of formula will run you about $30 and last you approximately a week. Let's do some math ... $30/week x 4 weeks/month = $120/month x 12 months/year = $1,440/year. (That's what formula mommies have told me, I've read differently - it just depends on what formula you use, where you buy etc.) That's not including the other necessities of diapers, wipes, baby food etc. Advances in science have GREATLY improved formula. There is so much science and laboratory in each bottle it'll make your head spin. So babies who are formula fed certainly get nutrition. Typically babies who are formula fed are bigger than babies who are breastfed - not always!!! but usually. Also nutritional content depends upon proper preparation of each bottle. Anyone can feed the baby as well, so that gives mommy more free time.

Now here is my case for breastfeeding. Babies who are breastfed are less susceptible to everything from allergies to eczema, ear infections to cancer, SIDS, heart disease, multiple sclerosis, juvenile diabetes and on and on and on. As a matter of fact, studies show that babies who are breastfed are not only healthier as infants but also into childhood. Children who were breastfed as babies experience fewer dental cavities, less likely to be obese, and are less likely to have psychological or learning disabilities. There are many benefits to the mother's who breastfeed as well. Women who breastfeed are less likely to develop ovarian cancer, breast cancer, uterine cancer, and osteoporosis. Women who breastfeed are more likely to lose baby weight faster as lactation and nursing burns many calories. Mommies who nurse release hormones that protect you naturally from getting pregnant sooner postpartum. Not to mention the amazing bonding time you get to spend with your miracle each feeding. In all honesty, there are too many benefits for me to list here. Study upon study shows that breastfed babies and mommies are healthier than formula fed babies. Want some more math? *A study showed that formula babies accrued about $68,000 in health care costs during a 6 month period, while breastfed babies only had about $4,000 during the same time period. (*See website below)

In all complete honesty, you can put all the science you want in a bottle ... but nature does it best!

That being said ... circumstances sometimes get in the way.  I remember right after I had my pumpkin, I was in close contact with a friend of mine who had her baby shortly after mine. We would call each other or text to check in and I loved it! I love her, so it was great feeling so connected and being new mommies together! One day she called me and shortly into the conversation she lost it ... okay we're new mommies we're hormonal it happens. She was having trouble producing enough milk. Her doctors were very concerned which in turn made her more concerned ... and she was so totally distraught because she never thought she would be faced with this situation! The plan was to nurse gosh darn it!!! The doctors were pushing her to formula feed and it was a devastating decision for her. Her body just wasn't seeming to be making enough milk for what her baby needed. And she is a brilliant nurse who works with babies so she knows! Ultimately my goal during that call was to empathize and remind her that she was and is a fantastic mom!! Doing the best thing for her special bud. She ultimately ended up supplementing and let me tell you ... he's an AWESOME big boy! They are an amazing family and everything worked out!! So are you a bad parent if you struggle breastfeeding? No. Are you a bad parent if you supplement? No. Are you a bad parent if formula is just the right decision for you and your family? No. The fact remains that either way you are a good parent caring for your baby. I just STRONGLY urge parents to deeply consider breastfeeding before ruling it out. It's cheaper, healthier, and let's face it, more convenient! (Less bottles!)

So no matter what option you chose in the past, what option you're leaning toward in the future consider both sides!! KNOW what you are doing for yourself AND your baby. Remember your decisions don't just affect you!! Most importantly ... LOVE that baby with all you have. They are a special and amazing miracle the likes of which you cannot fathom. :)

Here's to mook!

** For additional information on the benefits of breastfeeding or to see where I got some of my information for this post visit: http://www.nrdc.org/breastmilk/benefits.asp ) **

Pfft ... Kids ... Who Needs Em?!

You know how people always say being a parent changes everything?? Well I can honestly say that statement is true ... but not necessarily in the way(s) you'd think. Having a kid has changed my sleep, they way I do dishes and the laundry, what I watch on TV, the words that come out of my mouth, when and if I get to take a shower and my level of availability. (Or I should say unavailability) If you ask me these are all relatively minor life changes. Simple things completely worth it to share my life and time with the splendid little miracle God saw fit to bless the bejeebers outta my life with.

The things I DIDN'T expect to change were how people look at me. Now I'm not necessarily a "Young Mommy" - like on the show 16 and Pregnant. I'm 28, so it shouldn't be a big deal. And yet ... here come the looks. Angry awkward looks in public. Not because I'm young no, but because I have a kid.

True story, my husband plays in a sand volleyball league at a low key, laid back, family bar nearby where we live. It's a fun time and we've been going to this bar for over 3 years and there have ALWAYS been babies and children of all ages there. So to think it would be any kind of big deal to take our 2 year old, never crossed our minds. Now my husband's team plays at all different times, so we can't always go together, but the last time we were there Emma was playing fine and dandy in the corn hole area. It was fine because she was content pushing her umbrella stroller back and forth down the alley not bothering anyone. Then out of nowhere a foursome of young adults - about my same age, walk onto the court with out so much as a how-do-ya-do put their beers and buckets down and expected me and my kiddo to vamanos. Okay, I totally understand that that area is for playing corn hole not toddlers. I'm not stupid, but you don't have to be rude about it either. A simple, hey sorry would it be okay if we played? Really too much to ask is it? Well needless to say, my kid has a problem with authority ... my authority when I tell her she can't do something or go somewhere. So when I had to usher her out of the spot she'd been playing in for the last half hour, it was confusing and ticked her little mind off to no end. The only sympathy I got was from 1 of the guys who hated to see a little girl in tears and offered to stop playing so she could continue her toddler romping. I appreciate that, but in the ensuing tantrum from hates I got the most vulgar looks of "What is that and get it away from me." Now in my defense, I was trying to get her to the parking lot and away from patrons as quickly as possible - and let me tell you a thrashing 25 pounder isn't as easy to wrangle as most people think. But the looks of pure unadulterated hate for me having a crying kid were just insane.

Since when has the public turned on children?? I know hearing a crying kid isn't fun when you're trying to have a good time, but is that any reason to throw death stares at the parent? We were outside, in a loud bar environment. Not like we were in the library of Congress or anything. So she cried for 10 minutes ... boo hoo to you. She's 2. She doesn't know what she's doing pisses you off. She only knows that she's mad and she's going to express it the way she knows how.

As I'm growing as a parent, I'm just trying to wrap my brain around the fact that people have to be so rude towards parents with children. Like having a kid is a death sentence? Children in public are like the plague ... everyone stands back in disgust and wishes it would go away. I personally think it's sad. Such a negativity towards children springing up amongst young people. I LOVED kids when I was younger and still do. I am failing to see the problem for others. Do I say anything when you're blowing your death smoke in my kids face? No. So why do you hate on me because I'm trying to have fun with my kid in public. She's no perfect pumpkin, but then who are we kidding neither are you.

One possibility is the growing generations of lax discipline from parents. Children being spanked less and coddled more. For screaming and acting up in a store they get candy ... only reinforcing that if the kid acts that way, they'll get what they want. "I've seen it a hundred times." So when those children go out in public they give a bad name to all children?

I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent, or that I have all the answers ... no. No one does. Parenting is an imperfect, mistake riddled, unscientific science. We try, we fail, we do the best we can with what we got. So I'm sorry that my TWO  year old had a tantrum in public. It's what two year olds do. Should I become a shut in until I'm SURE my kid won't cry anymore?? Uh no. News flash I'm 28 and almost cried in public last week. If we followed that logic we'd never leave, subsequently rendering me completely mentally insane.

The fact remains that there is a negative stigma attached to children and it makes me sad. Instead of embracing kids, loving them, and trying to show compassion or empathy for the mom who's well into her 5th fit of the day, it's only compounded with looks of disgust and appalling. I already feel bad, you don't need to make it any worse. I know I look like a parent who doesn't have a handle on their kid, but children are unpredictable at times. I can't say with any amount of certainty when she's gonna go all out tears to the wall!

So if you don't have children or don't like children ... I urge you to consider the circumstance and extend a little courtesy. And by that I mean, don't throw your death laser stare my way, it's not helping. Just make a joke about me to your friends and keep it in your circle. I'm embarrassed enough without you looking at me like I'm a leper.

Next you go out, if you are a parent - chin up, they'll grow out of it and  you're doing the best you can. If you're a bystander, just look the other way, give a glimpse of mercy and go about your business, they'll grow out of it - hopefully you will too.

Cheers to kids!

Luuuuke ... I am your Father

As many of us know that is and was one of the most classic movie lines from Star Wars. Where Darth Vader - the super villain, reveals to noble Luke Skywalker that he is in fact Luke's Father. A twist many didn't see coming mostly because Luke was there to kill Vader, but after this revelation Luke has second thoughts.

Now I know what you're thinking ... seriously ... we're goin with a Star Wars synopsis? Yeah well no, but kinda. It's more or less a really good quote for Fathers. But in all seriousness Fathers come every which kinda way. The great, the good, the bad and the ugly. Which should make each and every one of us that much more appreciative if we didn't have the latter.

My dad? My dad was great. He didn't really do the baby thing, and for that I have empathy for my mom. BUT he was extremely active in our little league and up years especially when it came to sports. He coached two of my softball teams, a basketball team and coached my brothers in soccer. He helped me learn how to pray and made me compassionate for others. He taught me about money, how to spot a scam and how to drive - God bless him for that.

My dad has his faults, as all dads do. But one thing I commend him for is always trying. He has always tried to do his best for us. Falling short sometimes as all parents must, but making the honest and true effort to mold and shape his children's lives for the better. Teaching respect, honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness, kindness, compassion, caring, empathy, sympathy, faithfulness and even good sportsmanship. Things I'm truly grateful for.

My dad smoked from the time he was 16 til ... well I'm not even entirely sure, 40's I think. But he hid it from us when we were little. He's 100% German so naturally he's more bull headed than an actual bull and nothing anyone would tell him made any kind of difference in his willingness to quit. He liked smoking and everyone has to die sometime right?! (Truly his standpoint ... not lying) Until one day my mom came to him and said what about the kids. Don't you want to be there for them? My dad quit smoking for me. Now I realize that's nothing to you, but to me that says a lot. He loves me more than he loves himself.

He also told me awhile ago that when my brothers and I were born, very close together I might add, he made a commitment that every Salvation Army bucket he passed he would give money to. And every single year since he has lived up to that commitment. One day he was on his way into a store that had the bell ringer out in front and he realized he had no cash. Not even a penny. He drove all the way home, got money and came back JUST so he wouldn't pass the bucket without giving. These are lessons I take serious mental note both as an adult and as a parent. Compassion for the homeless which I have seen  him give to. Making the effort to not donate food to food banks that he wouldn't eat himself. "Just because they have less than I do doesn't mean they have to eat that way." Awww dad.

Some other qualities I get from my dad, his looks - round face and mousy blond hair, I'm 28 and I look like I'm 16, I'll thank him in my later years. His temper and absolute bull stubbornness, his boisterous voice and extremely outgoing personality. My dad is the guy who talks to the high school basketball team like they know him. He's also the guy who knows someone LITERALLY everywhere we go - and I mean LITERALLY. My dad is the only voice I could ever hear when swimming. When you're in the water all voices sound the same and they're all blurred ... not my dad! He would yell as loud as he could - KICK IT UP CHRISTIE!!! GO GO GO!! And daggummit I would give it all I had when I could hear that. Even if I didn't actually go faster, it felt like I did.

I always loved him for his support for a sport he was neither familiar or fond of. My dad is a basketball, baseball, football guy ... there is not swimming in there. But he came, paid attention, cheered, kept track of times ... because he cared. I wasn't the best, I didn't go to states or anything extra special, but geez oh man if my dad didn't treat me like I did. I still have a little plaque he had made for me in high school that says - "You're #1 in my heart." Dang dad! Way to tug at the ole heart strings!! I made him proud even if I didn't win everything. Grateful.

I also got his corny sense of humor, not as grateful, and his love for classic cars. All things I hope to someday pass to my daughter. My dad loved, and laughed with us. Made up silly games for us. He's the reason I dry my hair the way I do, the reason I don't throw like a girl, and the reason I give my all in all I do.

So many of these qualities I see in my husband and it makes my heart sing to know he will be a great dad like my dad. Teaching her things like, how to turn a wrench, rub a little dirt on it, and to always think through the problem. Thankful.

I love my dad. He's always been there for me through the tough, the awesome, the rough, the great and the giggly. Thanks for helping to shape me into a good human being dad. I hope through it all, I make you proud.

Happy Father's Day to the good one's out there. You work hard, and trust me, it pays off. You're loved, you're appreciated, and here's to hoping that springs forth more good dads. CHEERS!