Off to work I go ... Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho!

By the time I got to high school I really broke out of a shyness shell. From the girl who literally hid from Santa, to the girl doing ridiculous things to make my friends laugh and "hott" guys notice. (Even if they were noticing with raised eyebrows and a look of concern) I became independent in high school. I felt like I was the pack leader. Yeah I know we're not dogs, but you know, everybody runs with a "pack" a solid group of friends you do everything with. Our group changed and expanded over the 4 years. Which was awesome, but it felt like I was the most outgoing and by far the most outspoken, so my group relied on me to be crazy and weird but most importantly funny. I was always good for a laugh. Which made me feel good! I love making people laugh. Which is one of the reasons I wanted to start a blog! So I could put humor into every day situations to give people (women mostly) humor and insight at the same time.

Well, the point of all that is, I knew I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. I knew I wanted to get married at some point to some guy, and I knew I wanted to have kids, but I didn't want to rely on someone to pay my bills. It bothered me. And yet here we are ... life's funny huh?? The one thing I knew I never wanted and yet, I'm home 24/7 with my sweet cakes and the girl. (For those of you who don't know me well enough to get that joke, I called my dog who I got first my sweet cakes and I have a daughter who ergo is the girl. It's not funny when you have to explain it!) Needless to say, there are plenty of days I'm glad I'm home. Like I was the first one to see her roll over, crawl, walk etc. But it still begs the question, would we as a family be better off if I were working?

This question is one MANY moms struggle with. Some mommies don't have a choice, they need to go back to work to support the family. But in families like mine where I was not, nor will I ever be, the primary bread winner, we had to take a long hard look at me going back to work.

There are several things to consider when thinking about working after having that baby. First of all do you want to? There is a difference between need and want. For some it's a need. (In fact there is a larger number of women making more than their male counterparts today! HAHA sorry but that's just cool and I'm not even a scary women's lib kinda girl!) I digress ... as usual. But do you want to work? Decide whether you need to to make your budget work, or if not, do you want to stay home? Some women don't, and that's okay!

Second, finances. If you decide that you don't need to work to pay your mortgage but you still want to go, is it financially responsible with the costs of childcare? You need to do some numbers crunching. For our family, I have to find a job with literally a certain salary amount to make it work. Otherwise, I'm shelling out the dough to work, and that's backwards.

Third, finding child care. It can be, and should be, at least a little scary leaving your kid with a stranger. That's why it's important to look into many child care facilities. It's always nice to get a recommendation from someone, but don't stop there. Never take someones word for it when it comes to your child. That's not good parenting. (Sorry for those of you disappointed with that statement - truth hurts!) Stop by the facility and ask for an unscheduled tour. If it's a good responsible facility, they will let you. It's a sign they have nothing to hide.  I  hate to say this, but I learned that lesson when looking for a place to board my dog. Took someones advice and went to a place that I almost reported for animal cruelty. Disgusting. Went to another place and took an unscheduled tour and it was fabulous. All the dogs seemed happy, it was extremely clean, and they answered any and all my questions. That's called good customer service. Which if I was that picky about my dog, think how I am with my baby! (My other baby!) The facility you choose should be transparent with you. It's good customer service, and it means that what you see is actually what you get. Not a staged "look we'll take great care of your kid because we put away the knives and TV before you got here!" If that doesn't suit you, find someone you know well, through work, church, library where ever, and see if they will care for your child for a fee. Women with children are usually best suited for this kind of situation, but it can be anyone as long as you know them well.

Lastly, this will affect your schedule in a major way. Who will drop the child off? Who will pick up the child, who will care for them until the other person comes home etc. It's a family decision you need to talk about. In order to make things as flawless as possible (because with children things never are) you should work out the minor details as best you can ahead of time.

At the end of the day, you should really know that no matter what your decision you're not a bad mom. Some people or articles or news reports might make you feel that way. But really, it's a personal decision that you and your partner have to make together. No one can tell you what's right for your family. Just because one way works for someone else doesn't mean it will work for you. Always remind yourself of that. And if you think your baby will grow up resenting you, stop. My parents both worked, and I turned out pretty okay, or something. Well I'm not on drugs or in jail so there's that! Just know your kids will respect you for trying to make a good life for your family. I do.

Take care and happy decision making!!!!