First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage!

First of all I want to apologize for how late this is. If any of my followers were looking forward to something to read this week, my tech incapable abilities stalled this post. Long story I'm quite sure I'll share another time!

Last weekend, I had the privilege and honor to be invited to my friends wedding. I consider us to be good friends, we lived together for 2 years in college, but weddings are reserved for the most intimate of family and friends. So any time I am considered that part of someone's life it's quite humbling for me. The wedding was of course gorgeous! She went with charcoal and tangerine ... LOVELY! The bride was beautiful, the wedding was excellent and we all had a great time! But as some of you know, and some of you don't, wedding planning is ... well it should be an Olympic sport. Much like day after Thanksgiving shopping, with hopefully less face punching. I planned my wedding 5 years ago, but still remember the frustrations and the moments I chalk in the win column. So here are some of the major issues to consider and hopefully avoid when wedding planning!

First things first, get the groom to be on board! Most fellas know that women (or most women besides me) plan their weddings their whole life. So this is more about her than it is him. So just allow him the opportunity to give feedback when able but try your best to get him on board with your ideas. Then establish a budget. It's easier to spend less when you know what you're working with. If you shop blind you're more likely to spend more money. First identify an end number, a round estimate that you are able to afford for the total cost of the wedding (and honeymoon if you take one). Then break it down into categories, if you go over in one area, you can make up for it in another. Also, know what your parents are willing to contribute. We had help from a few different family members, which helped a lot. It helps knowing that ahead of time.

Next is picking the date. This can be interchangeable with the budget step. Just as long as you and your fiancee (feels nice to say that doesn't it?!!) do both of these together. In most cases it is cheaper to have your wedding on a Friday or a Sunday. As these are not ideal days to get married. I got married on a Friday and the way I went into it was, if they want to be there they will. People will take off work for weddings if they want to. And the people who love and value you the most will do that. My husbands cousin is a farmer and we got married Memorial day weekend, a big time for farmers, but he still came to the out of town wedding and took time away from the farm. It's what you do for people you care about.

Next is the venue. The woman whose wedding I went to this past weekend got married outside at a Golf Course and the reception was inside, awesome! It's nice for your guests, especially for those that have to travel. I got married in a church, which was free and had my reception at another location. Keep cost in mind, if it is cheaper to have your wedding in a free location then pay for the reception area do that. If you have a nice place in mind to do it all at a good price do that! Either way, your guests will make it work. Either way, be sure to include directions for your guests to take the guess work out of it.

Then the DRESS. The moment so many women wait for! Now I wasn't a good bride. I LOVE my dress, still, but I didn't come out saying, yep this is the one for sure! I had to decide between 2 dresses. Both were beautiful and I looked great in both of them, what tipped me over the edge was if I bought at David's Bridal my bridesmaids got a discount on their dresses. I was a bit unique in that I had to pick a national chain for my dresses because I had a bridesmaid in California, Cleveland, Columbus and Toledo. So it wasn't necessarily the deciding factor, but it helped. I paid less than $500 for my dress, and there are many more dresses you can find for much cheaper. Wait til bridal stores have sales, or just head straight for the sale rack. It also helps if you tell the woman assisting you what your price range is. If you find a dress that works all the way around, but there is one feature that you don't like, remember you can most likely have it fixed or removed in alterations. So don't let that keep you from a great dress at a great price! In addition, if you feel your dress is lacking, add to it! Sashes are gorgeous or a big statement necklace and earrings, all making you drop dead gorgeous but keeping your budget in check.

Oh flowers! This can be so hard for some. I was lucky. My sister in laws Aunt did them for me at wholesale prices. She was kind enough to walk me through what flowers she could get and a whole list of prices. We were able to make some basic cuts and keep our massive flowers under $800. It was a May wedding so we used ferns and potted hydrangea's on the alter. They were cheap and they looked full and beautiful. The ferns matched my colors beautifully, I was actually shocked at how well it worked out. Also, I definitely wanted some roses in my bouquets because they are my favorite flowers, but a solid rose bouquet is really expensive, even at wholesale prices. So we worked with a few different flowers, including hydrangeas and ranunculus. These flowers are much cheaper and are bigger so they are beautiful fillers for larger round bouquets. Other flowers to consider when trying to fill your bouquet but not empty your wallet, gerber daisy's, Iris's, Lily's, black eyed susans, lilacs, tulips, dahlias, calla lilly's, gardenia, or peony. Don't see anything you like here? Google search it!! Don't take your florists word for everything, do a little bit of research and you'll come out ahead in the end. Be sure to pick flowers that are in season too. If you really want to save extra money, ask around and see if any friends you have can get flowers at wholesale prices and either do the bouquets yourself, or have a close family member or friend do  it for you. I think you'll be surprised at how many people can flower arrange! Leave a comment if you would like more information on flower arranging made easy! We had 8 bouquets, 16 boutonnieres, 4 potted plants, 4 corsages, and I'm sure some others that I'm forgetting for under $800 ... it can be done! PS My flowers were PERFECT!

Two more areas - even though there are about a thousand more details! The caterer and the photographer. My caterer was a long time friend of my family. He actually went to school with my mom, and I feel the BEST caterer in Toledo. He has a bakery as well and got his start selling pastries to my grandpa out of the back of a truck at the Sun Oil plant in Oregon, Ohio. He is FANTASTIC! If you're in Toledo it's Michael's catering. ( http://www.michaelsoftoledo.com/catering.htm ) Ask for Sue. She is literally the best. She will guide you every step of the way. They have been in business a long time and know their stuff! (Christie Meyer sent you!) Just a fabulous company to work with. And that's what you want to look for with any company you use. Will they take care of everything? Set up? Service? Refills? What happens to the left over food? Will they attend to your dessert table? Michael's wife did my cake too. I didn't even get to meet with her, but with my description she made the cake that was in my head perfectly - maybe even better! Ask your caterer if they do cakes as well, and see if you can get a discount by ordering both through their company. It may not always happen, but definitely worth a shot.

Lastly, the photog. The only thing that will last from your wedding is the pictures, everything else will either get eaten, get thrown away or put away, your pictures will be your best memory of the best day of your life! When choosing a photographer you should be a little more loose with your money. Make this one of your bigger budgetary items. Good photographers are hard to find and if and when you do find one, you may have to pay a little for it. Things to look for. First of all, you'll want 2 shooters. We had one for our wedding and I regret it because some of the pictures I had said I wanted I didn't get because he was too overwhelmed. TWO SHOOTERS!! Can't emphasize that enough! My husbands first wedding he shot was only 14 people total ... not in the wedding party total. Every person there including bride and groom totaled 14. And we both shot! So don't think your wedding is too small, it's not! Even if the second shooter isn't taking pictures, they can do important things like fixing your hair, tracking down people, etc. Second, make sure that you will have FULL rights to all your pictures. I know someone who went to order their pictures a few months after the wedding to find the photographer went out of business and took the pictures with them. They had the samples, but not all the pictures - what a nightmare! Get what you pay for! Get all your pics! Also, don't get too caught up on the filler. Most photographers offer some sort of trickety item to offer you, like a coffee table book, a mug, etc. These really don't add much value because they don't cost the photographer very much. So just make sure of the basics, 2 shooters, camera quality (how nice do the pictures look, are they gritty or pixellated?), how long do they shoot, do they include engagement pictures, full rights and any references? Take the advice of friends, if they give you photographers to look into, actually look at them! Go to their studio or call them and set up a meeting. If they are high tech enough for your wedding, they will be able to show you their portfolio in a Starbucks. Make sure that when you choose your photographer, you meet with them and go over all the nitty gritty details and give them a written list of the pictures you want. It may seem repetitive or not necessary, but like my photographer was in over his head and got overwhelmed and forgot to take formal pictures with my grandparents. (There are only 3 living grandparents between my husband and I  ... I wasn't happy!) PS my husband's website is: http://dontblinkphoto.net/ or my cousin Ben Derkin http://derksworks.com/#/special/splash/columbus-ohio-modern-artistic-wedding-photography/

Now ... I know there is a lot missing. There is a LOT to wedding planning. But here's what I say to that. Use coupons and get things on sale. Rely on your friends to help you where you can. And scour the web for sites offering bulk items cheap. Keep it as simple as you can, and utilize every resource! Ask lots of questions, and remember, you should get to have some fun when you plan your wedding! It's your day, remember that and don't be afraid to politely tell people so. Be decisive and know that it's your day, get what you want.

If you're getting married Congrats! What a happy time! Best of luck to you and God's blessings on you and your upcoming event!

As always ... have fun lady!!!!