Today I am ...

Most of you know my daughter Hailey was diagnosed with Periventricular Leukomalacia (PVL). Before you Google it ... let me give you the readers digest version: it is damage to the white matter part of the brain. It happened in utero and the cause is unknown, but I did not cause it. I have to keep saying that out loud because I will forever blame myself for this and that's the only way I can handle that guilt right now. Her motor skills will be impaired. For how long or how bad we do not know. We may never know. But she will require extensive Physical and Occupational Therapy (PT and OT respectively) for an indefinite period of time. It also means that she has an increased chance of being diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy (CP).

Honestly, I'm devastated. My child is broken and there is nothing I can do to fix her. She is "special needs" and words can't begin to express how much I hate saying those words. It's like venom to me.

But people want to know how I'm doing after a life altering diagnosis because most people can't imagine. And I want to tell you. But only if you REALLY want to know. Because really I am so many things it's absurd. I'm told that's okay, and it has to be. Because I can't not be.

I'm angry. I am sad. I'm confused. I'm overwhelmed. I am loved. I am supported. I am bitter. I am hurt. But it's not about me. It's about Hailey. But she has no idea right now. No clue, the struggles that lie ahead for her. The pain. And the hard truths that we will have to face. And as her mom who loves her more than anyone could fathom, I feel those for her. I feel the things she can't right now.

I am mad that I can't struggle for her, because you honestly have no idea what I would do to take this. NO IDEA. I would give myself to take that from her. I will pray for the rest of my life to God to have Him lay this on me. It will never happen because that's not His will, but I will ask anyway.

I am sad because when people find out her diagnosis they will say things like " Awww it'll be okay" and "Awww what a sweet baby! She's so beautiful." And "Just let me know if you need anything." These are at their core wonderful things. And it's not that they aren't appreciated. But they are just sentiment. First of all, no it won't be okay. At least not today or tomorrow or next week. MAYBE one day, but that's only a maybe. Second, she IS sweet and beautiful but not because her brain is damaged. And I KNOW people will say that because they feel bad for her and not because she really is. SHE IS SO beautiful. And this makes me die inside. It literally kills me each time I hear it. I'm sobbing just writing it. And lastly, I will maybe try to remember to call you, but I need you to say: here are the days I can watch your kids so you can take Hailey to her 50 billionth appointment. I am coming over on Saturday so that you can leave your house and pretend to be a normal human for 5 seconds, is 2 or 7 better? I am taking Emma to the zoo today, have her ready at 11. What night of the week do you want dinner I'm making extra chilli? THESE are the things I need but can't ask for. Or if I do ask, I NEED SOMEONE to help. Too often I ask and am denied and guess what ... a person who STRUGGLES IMMENSELY to even take the step to ask for help, and time after time after time never gets it ... struggles even more. And then I find myself drowning because I can't do this alone and I usually am. So if you want to help, I will ask, but please follow through. If not, THAT'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That does not make you less of a person, or mean, or unhelpful, or uncaring ... I think NONE of those things. It only means you aren't able. And HELLO ... I GET THAT!

I worry that she will be bullied MORE than my other children because she will most likely not be able to do what they can. Or will be slow. I worry that this will affect her intelligence and she will struggle in school like I did. I worry that people will say "But if you're identical aren't you the same? So why are you messed up and she's not?" - I cry about that the most. People assume that since they're identical twins they are the same. And in some ways they are, but they are still two different people. And the fact that Hannah does not have PVL further suggests that it was not my fault, because had I done something to instigate this, Hannah would have most likely been affected as well. (Have to keep saying it, and no it won't help if you tell me)

I feel guilt that it could be worse. I know that. I know this is not inherently life threatening. I understand. It's not cancer, it's not CF but honestly, that doesn't make it okay. Yes those are worse. You're right and shame on me in my boohoo session. But regardless, my child is hurt and can't be fixed. Bottom line. And as each parent is entitled to feel upset that their child has XYZ ... I have to be entitled to hurt for my baby. So saying it could be worse does not make it better. (So far, no one has, and for that friends, I thank you).

I feel hopeless. I have been robbed of hope because I had hoped the MRI would be inconclusive. And everywhere I turn when I am optimistic and hopeful that MAYBE it's not so bad, maybe she still can, MAYBE maybe maybe ... so far it's all been no. So you can be hopeful and optimistic FOR ME, but I will not be right now. It's where I am. That's all I have

I am Thankful. I am Thankful for an AMAZING family. For a mom who came out just to watch Emma and Hannah while we had the MRI then volunteered to turn around and drive back when I got the diagnosis. For a dad who wouldn't stop calling until I answered and was dead set on coming out JUST to hug me. (From Toledo to Cleveland) Mind you my parents have commitments but were willing to figure it out on the fly to be with me. A husband who went to work after the MRI and only a few hours later came home after the diagnosis so that I wasn't alone.  I am Thankful for a hilarious, spunky 4 year old who keeps telling me I don't have to cry anymore. Who stops eating to run over and give me a big hug. Who makes me laugh. Who when asked will still love her sister no matter what. I'm Thankful I have an aunt who is a PT who is moving mountains to come out for Hai's first PT appointment to go with me. For my friend who dropped everything to bring me coffee today and let me sob my face off on my couch. To give me wisdom and advise. My small group who prayed over me for my family and I last night. Who allowed me to laugh with them (And sometimes at them) because I need humor. I believe it is healing and for 2 hours my soul was not crushed and my heart not shattered. I am Thankful for the people who have already stepped up to watch a 4 year old and a 10 month old so I can care for Hailey and take her where she needs to go. I am thankful for so many people praying. I am Thankful I have never felt alone and I am Thankful I have always felt loved. And that's a lot to be Thankful for.

I put this in God's hands when Hailey was 3 months old and I knew she was special needs. I tried to be hopeful ... again ... and wait and see. But I knew. And I prayed long and hard. And while my heart is not for special needs children ... I'm now in the heart of the ocean swimming with sharks and doing my best not to drown or get eaten. But when you swim with sharks, you're probably gonna get bitten. Guess it's a good thing I'm a Lifeguard. I will fend off as many attacks as I can, swim as far as I can go, and treat the wounds when they come. And pray and pray and pray and pray that if I love her enough that that will be okay. Because honestly ... that is all I have. I am not smart, I am not brave, I am NOT strong, I'm not equipped, I'm not good enough for her. I will fail her more often than I help her, but I will never leave her and I will never stop loving her. PLEASE God let that be enough. I will be the stump in The Giving Tree. And I will give her all of me. And it will probably not be enough, but I'll give it all anyway.

I am an emotional disaster. My house is a wreck, my hair is disgusting, and my mind is in chaos. And that ... is how I'm doing. If you talk to me I will cry. If you see me I will be hideous. If you come to my house it will be disgusting. But we are alive. And we are here. So that's something. And that, is how I'm doing.

Whatever Happened To The Take?

I'm sure that if you're like me and watch way too many movies, you're thinking that title has something to do with a heist. You know, "The Take" from theft. The score, the loot, the well yeah okay I think you get it. But that's actually not what I'm talking about as I know nothing about thievery. Except of course that I am a professional thief because I have seen The Italian Job AND The Thomas Crown Affair. Also all the Ocean's movies and that one with Katherine Zeta Jones and Sean Connery. #expertstatus

But back to topic. What ever happened to the take? The take I'm referring to here is the take part of the "Give & Take" in a relationship. It's the advice that all married couples give to newly wed couples - "marriage is a give and take!" Except no one ever wants to take. Why is that? Is it because take is perceived as selfish? Do we only ever want to appear as the giver of the relationship?? Do we not realize then that makes our partner only a taker. Negative connotation!

My husband is literally a super hero. Maybe you've heard of him? In previous posts perhaps. Or well, pretty much only a small handful of people I know actually read the ridiculous thoughts put to computer screen, so maybe you know him. He literally has changed the world. (Not kidding, when he was in Ecuador on a missions trip, he made soccer goals for the kids in the village/area they were in and the organization that headed the trip asked for his plans and building materials because they were/are going to use it globally ... world changed.) Most people don't realize but there is nothing he can't do - except interact with humans - but that's totally besides the point! He can do carpentry (he built our daughters crib FROM SCRATCH), electric - I stand by with a 2x4 just in case, plumbing - we won't count the time he dripped MOLTEN metal (solder - pronounced saudder) IN his mouth ... I flipped out way more than he did. He can literally fix technical problems OVER THE PHONE - what are you a magician freak?! WHO DOES THAT?! Not even tech support can do that! And don't get me started on cars, outdoor power equipment and anything else with a motor ... #mechanicalengineer. But seriously, this kid is amazing. He's also very kindhearted and doesn't want to ever leave anyone hanging if they are in need of help. My point with all of this? He's what you might call in HIGH DEMAND. Our house is kind of like a revolving door for him. He comes home to leave again to play super hero to or for someone. Which is great. Truly. But, after years of this, it gets hard.

Yep. I said it. It's hard. It's hard being the feeble Lois Lane who can't do anything with out her Hero Superman, even though he's out reversing the Earth's orbit to turn back time to stop Lex Luther from blowing up the world.

I kinda feel bad for Lois. First of all, Lois is not my most favorite woman's name - sorry. Second of all, she really isn't a character without Clark/Superman. She never seems to be able to do anything for herself and acts more as an Achilles heal for Superman because of his love for her. All the villains know to go straight for her. And that's what I am. Lois here. Hangin out watching Superman save the world only to have problems of my own that only complicate his life. That's hard to admit.When you are a significant other, you like to think you bring something meaningful to the table. Even things out, make the relationship balanced. But in our world, that's just not the case. I'm home all day, pregnant like a crazy lady, with a massive beast thing we call a dog and a 3 1/2 year old. Doin stuff, but not changing the world. Some say, right but some day maybe your kids will! And that would be incredible - still not me. That would be them and I would be proud, but not responsible.

Since I got pregnant (with Twins ... WHAT?!) I've seen a lot of t-shirts and stuff for moms and one says "I grow Twins, What's Your Super Power?" While hilarious, and almost a purchase, it's also not really true. Given the right circumstances, many women can "grow" twins. In fact, many already have. It's not really a super power. It's more like a really neat capability. Hey look at me, I'm getting 3 kids in 2 shots. Also a blessing. But keeping beings alive isn't a super power either. Anyone can do it - even my husband. He might do it weird and extremely messily, and it does not fall into his favorites folder, but he can do it. (Told ya he can do anything!)

So -  back to the topic at hand here rambler! The take. So it seems that I would need to be the giver. Giving support and encouragement for the Superhero. But while I'm not a hero, I am human. And humans have needs. Yeah ... weird ... but we totally do. One of those is taking care of ourselves. One of the things you learn if you become a Lifeguard is that you have to pay attention and focus because if something happens to you during a rescue - what good are you to the victim you're trying to save? You're not. And now there are 2 people in trouble. That's why when people are drowning there are certain techniques and maneuvers used to complete a successful rescue. Those must be applied to keep both parties safe. The same goes in life, if you don't take care of yourself, what good are you to anyone else? While child caring and rearing might not be as powerful as changing the world like my Superman, it's needed for our family to survive. Mostly due to the fact that Jay can't change the world if he's busy changing diapers. (See what I did there? With the changing thing ... whatever guys I'm funny!) On the same note, I need to do things for me sometimes in order to stay remotely sane. I'm completely crazy mind you, but to stay in the realm of reality I need something for me. Sure I have this neat little blog, but it takes energy, research and time to do. I'm usually pretty tired after writing a post and then it still must be read several dozen times and edited etc.

So if I know this is needed, I believe it - says it in the Bible - even God rested, why do I feel guilty when I ask for something for me? Why is there such a stigma with taking? It even sounds like a dirty word - TAKE. Most of the time I have to do things for myself  during the week like Starbucks and Target. (To whomever decided to put the bucks IN the Target ... SHAME ON YOU. Now I have a ridiculous fetish to both!) But at the end of the day, I need the hero to play hero at home. And yet, I feel ashamed sometimes asking for his time. The great and powerful Jay. How dare Lois take some of his extremely valuable time!!!

But you know what. I can't feel ashamed. I have to feel that as half of the relationship, sometimes I need to take. Even if it's just a little. We ALL do. We need a minute to ourselves, for ourselves. To be alone, creative, read, work (on other things), grocery shop, sleep, pray, be human. Whatever it takes for us to continue to have the stamina and strength to continue to give. If you haven't, read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. (Have your box of tissues ready ladies and don't roll your eyes gents) It is a fantastic children's classic about a tree that gives and gives and gives until it can no longer give. If in the relationship, you only give and NEVER take, you will end up unhappy. And relationships aren't happy and productive if both parties aren't happy. They just aren't.

So I would like to change the connotation associated with The Take. It's more like Share. Both parties in a relationship have needs - Superhero or not - we do. If in a relationship, you NEED to have the ability to speak for yourself and remind your partner that you're there too and no matter how amazing they may be, they still need your support. And for you to support, you need for you. It doesn't get selfish until you ONLY focus on you and are constantly asking for more. It's not selfish when it's only on occasion and when truly needed.

I hope some day we can bring back The Take. I hope at some point in time we can realize that there are 2 parts to every relationship, and I don't mean give and take. There is one and the other. Both should be equal.

Sigh ... someday I won't be tied to the railroad tracks! ... Someday.

Hey Look! I Have Spare Time! ... Kinda

Hello! Yeah ... I didn't let it FULLY die. Welcome back to you too! So it's been like a year, I know get off my back! I've got some stuff goin on. So let me briefly update you and then get to why I'm picking back up.

So here's what's been happening.  My volunteering is up, my husbands extra curricular activities are at an all time high, we took a big family vacation last fall, my daughter turned 3, found out I was pregnant again (YAY!), then we found out it was TWINS (Double YAY!), trying to be the awful parent I am and make the beyond late decision to enroll said 3 year old in Pre-School (can't believe we got in), preparing for that, prepping for twins, hubby started a new position at work, trying to get another fundraiser done, run my house, not go insane, and yeah ... that about sums it up. That also does not include building relationships, being on a launch team for our new church campus that has consumed my whole summer and LOTS of family business.

WHEW! Make you exhausted?? I hope? ... No? Just me? I'm the laziest person alive? Yeah, yer pry right. Well ... that's my story and I'm stickin to it!! So what brings me back?? Well besides the fact that I think about blogging all the time. I really do. I miss writing my incoherent and rambling thoughts for friends and strangers to read, preferably aloud. But, 9 times out of 10, I'm either swamped with more pressing issues, or just trying to take a break. A genuine break. I think the decaf coffee I ordered from Starbucks today that was definitely mis-made WITH caffeine helps my productive attitude today, but this is something I just can't get off my mind lately.

The top (Unlucky) 13 things I just beyond words love about my kid. Here's where any male readers I have left leave. But seriously, stick around. Having a kid scares most men nearly to death. I'm actually really proud my husband didn't puke or pass out when we found out it was twins during the ultrasound. That was always his one stipulation of having kids, I wasn't allowed to have twins. HA! Twin girls no less. I'm not sure who's in more trouble - me (SO MUCH ESTROGEN!!!!) or my husband ... (SO VERY MUCH ESTROGEN!) We both might run away from ages 12-23. Oh look at that! I'm rambling ... But dudes, bare with me, you may learn something and realize kids are totally terrifying ... totally.

So what do I love about my kid. That she's adorable, and I get compliments everywhere we go. That she's smart, or independent, or well behaved or yadda yadda, yadda ... Same stuff ALL parents love about their kids. No. Those things are awesome, but not on this list. These are the little things. Those things every mom tells every mom to be to take time to notice. I have. And I can't stand it any more. I love my kid!

13. The hair on her legs. Super weird, I understand. But seriously, she is almost 3 1/2 and she's starting to get noticeable hair on her legs and it is DANG cute. Why? I literally have no idea. You could say hormones, but I loved it before I was even preggers. I just think about how she is getting to be such a big girl and one day she'll hate it and be embarrassed and we'll have to walk that road. But for now, it is sweet and innocent and just so stinking cute. Probably because she doesn't yet look totally like Chewbacca. (Spelled that right all by myself too by the way! No one is giving you brownie points Christie! Oooo Brownies!)

12. The way she eats. Oh my gosh! I sit and watch her eat almost every meal. Mostly because I'm with her nearly 24/7, but also because I know the Heimlich and I'm usually eating at the same time. So I sit and stare at her like the weirdo I am. I LOVE watching her little lips smoosh together and pout out when she eats. Her bottom lip pops out like she's pouting with every chomp and HAHAHA dang if it isn't adorbs!

11. Her handful of freckles. She's got about 8 or 9 little teeny tiny moles or freckles - depending on who you ask. They're all smaller than the head of a pin, and I think they are one of the cutest things I've ever seen. She has one by her eye which I think is inherited from my husband and his sister (each have a very small, cute freckle by one of their eyes) and I call it her sparkle. She also has one on the end of her nose and one on her ankle above her foot that are favorites as well. I don't know why, I will probably NEVER know why, but I think they are amazing. Probably because they are a part of her.

10. Her crazy hair. It's crazy for many reasons, 1. crazy how little of it she has for 3. B. Crazy for how out of control what little of it she has. My husband calls it "little old lady hair" - short, thin and curly. It is. We refer to it as our humometer. It lets us know if it's humid out or not by how tight the ringlets are. She never wants me to do it, doesn't like to wear headbands and will only stick with bows for about half a day. Typically she runs her hands through it wildly and she kinda looks like Albert Einstein meets Annie. When she runs they bounce and it makes me giggle almost every time. Most times I say I hate it because she looks like an unkempt, neglect case, but in reality that's how she rolls. Crazy and it works. People usually don't say "look at that hair", they say "look at those curls!" Hey ... all the power to ya kid, leave the styling for the rest of your life ... you're ... well yeah you're gonna need it.

9. The way she reads to herself. I can be anywhere in my house, and often, I can hear the sweet, tiny sound of her voice making up whatever words come to her through the book she's paging through. Sometimes the words correlate with the book, like characters, title, actions in the book, and sometimes not at all. Either way it's so stinkin adorable, I keep trying to record her, but you know, once they know you see them, it's all over. Sometimes she'll tell me to "go away." HA! Love it. Read on little reader!!

8. How she isn't like other kids. Now ... I don't ALWAYS love this about her. I'm a typical parent and worry about ... well everything. It bothered me for the first 2 years of her life that she wasn't EXACTLY like every other kid we met or had ever met. If you're not a parent yet, kid comparison is like fast food. It's the easiest thing in the world and really not good for you. EVERY parent will tell you not to do it and EVERY parent will inherently do it. We can't help ourselves but to see what other kids are doing and compare that (good or bad) with our own kid. If you say you've never compared you're either delusional or lying. Not judging! Just saying, every parent has compared at some point about some thing. My kid is a little weirdo. Sometimes it scares me but as we are getting older, I'm diggin it! Like how she doesn't play like most kids. She doesn't really pretend very much but she sure can entertain herself. (What do you think she's doing right now?! She doesn't know I snuck into the office a few minutes ago to keep writing. I'll get up when she realizes I'm gone and needs me.) She sings, she dances, she tries to climb trees. Sometimes she jumps around, sometimes she reads, sometimes she just spins or runs around. She's crazy and wild and I LOVE that she gets to be all those things. She also likes to tell random strangers completely random things about herself like - "look at my dress!" "I have a bow!" "See my purse?!" ... yeah honey, no one cares, but good for you! She's starting to get my social skills - Thank God!

7. How she's doing this arms crossed thing when she's "mad." Talk about hilarious. When she's "mad" (I put mad in quotes because she's not really mad, she's just being goofy and kinda pretending to be mad aka she thinks she's mad) she turns her back, crosses her arms across her chest and makes a Hm sound. HA! What a little diva! I usually start laughing which in turn makes her laugh - sometimes - and I either let her keep doing it or we talk it out - as much as you can with a 3 year old. I love how stubborn she is - sometimes - though. Cracks me up and reminds me of ... well me. This is gonna hurt in a few more years. Badly.

6. How it doesn't take much to make her laugh. She has been the laughiest baby/kid. Man. It doesn't take much to make her laugh or smile and I LOVE that. She thinks farts are funny, loves to be tickled, and has even told a joke! Her own joke! Wanna hear it? Yeah I know you don't but it's my blog and I'm gonna share it anyway. We were trying to learn to spell one day, and we were working on MOM. So I had those letters written on a piece of paper and one by one we rattle them off. When we get to the last M she thinks for like a second and goes P! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! She purposely spelled MOP and laughed herself silly for about 45 minutes. Glad to see that's all I am to you kid ... a MOP. She cracked herself up about that on at least 2 other occasions as well. She's hilarious and I love love love to watch her laugh and laugh with her. Laughing is our favorite!

5. Her interest. She is a little wonder bug. She got that from her dad - Thank God! I love to watch her face as she investigates something. Whether it's a bug or a leaf or a new toy. She gets her fathers furrowed brow and goes to work. AWESOME. Go investigate little explorer! Figure out your world. Man it's so cute to watch the eyes, practically see the ole wheels turnin in the noggin and then out comes the tiny finger to poke. Love it.

4. The way she looks right after sleep. I really don't know what it is; maybe it's the fact that I've had time away from her, or that she's extra lovey, but the way she waits for me after waking up is one of my favorite parts about the day. It used to be in her crib, then she got a big girl bed and got out and would knock on her door, now she opens her door and waits for me at the top of the stairs. She still has a little bit of sleep in her eyes, not ready to talk yet, whackadoo hair and a forlorn longing look for her mommy on her face. UGH! LOVE! Sometimes this moment gets me so mommy I feel like I could explode with Love for her. We always hug, I usually tell her I love her and post potty (priorities) I ask how her sleep was. Some days I get a snuggle and some days I don't, but I always get a happy girl with hugs n kisses.

3. The way her breath smells after sleep. Oh my it's stinky. Everyone's breath is stinky after sleep. Hers is no exception. But there is just something about it. It's a sweet stinky. If I get post sleep snuggles I usually try to lean in close when she talks to get a whiff. Again, why? No idea. Really. I can try to say that it's the result of rest, or her, or I have no clue. All I know is I love it. Weird, crazy, yep, but can't be helped. Hers smells different and better than my husbands and definitely doesn't make me wanna throw up - so that could be part of it too. There's really no way to tell.

2. Her face. Yeah all parents think their kids are cute, I know. But I LOVE her face. Not that I think she is the "cutest" kid on the face of the planet, but just looking at her face. I love her cheeks and eyes, her teeny little nose. How soft her skin is. I could probably stare at her face up close for hours. Yes I need more date nights out, so sue me! But seriously, I just absolutely love everything about her face. There isn't one specific thing I like or makes her pretty ... it's everything. I like to rub her cheeks gently, when she lets me, and  pull her bangs off her forehead and just kiss her. Love.

1. When she tells me "Love you too Mommy." This is one every parent will tell you is the best. Because it is. No way around it. When you hear your child tell you they love you - forced or not - it is euphoria. I honestly have no idea why people do drugs. Have a kid, work hard to raise them, love, care for and protect them, and listen to them tell you they love you. High as a kite. Best feeling ever. Makes those moments when you want to leave them on the side of the road worth it. Those days when you can't stay out drinking or go where ever you want whenever you want. Wear a bathing suit the same way (for some of us - those of you freak moms who you can't tell you were ever pregnant and you get to walk around in a bikini ... good for you but you stink. That is all.) - all worth it. It is one of the things that keeps my world spinning. Keeps me motivated to do and be better. To have more patience with her, to try to teach her more, to just keep her wanting to tell me she loves me. Mostly because I know there will come a day when I hear "I hate you!" more than "I love you" so maybe I'm just stockpiling, but either way, it's the highlight of each day.

My button isn't perfect and I won't try to shove in your face all that she can do that maybe your kid can't - mostly because that drives me nuts. I brag about her, but in moderation and I try to use humility and humor when I do it. As a parent you can't help but be proud of milestones and big moments, at any age. You don't have to try to make your child (or make them OUT to be) the single greatest kid to ever walk the earth. (That spot has already been filled and no one can surpass the son of God ... sorry ... really not even worth trying to surpass him) But it goes with out saying, even if you don't believe in God, it's still impossible to tell if your kid is actually the greatest ever - so why do we try? Love your kid for the freaky little weirdo they are. Love that they always want to ride in the shopping cart you don't want them to ride in. Love that they ask for something to eat then refuse to eat it. (WHY?! You told me Peanut Butter ... EAT IT!) Love that they tell strangers the most random things that the strangers pry won't understand because they don't speak "the lingo." Love that little thing you got shadowing you! And come up with your own list of all the things you love about them. Above and beyond the obvious. All our kids are smart, all our kids are independent, all our kids are perfect (or hellions) etc ... but what about their eyes? That one tooth that came in funky? The nape of their neck? They way their toes wiggle just a little when they sleep? What about those little things ... we'll probably forget all that one day, but I hope I never do. It's one of the reasons I couldn't stop myself from blogging it.

I'm sorry if this post wasn't for you, but I'm not sorry that I take the time to notice and love the little things. I hope that if not now, some day when you have a little person in your life (in ANY capacity) you take the time for the little things ... like hairy legs and pouty lips.