Ned Flandersessesessses

"Ned Flanders: [surprised by the pink mutated multi-eyed squirrel] Well, this certainly seems odd, but, heh, who am I to question the work of the Almighty? Oh, we thank you Lord for this mighty fine intelligent design! Good job!" - IMDB. Some of you know the incredibly hilarious work of Matt Groening, the creator of the Simpsons. And if you don't, it's an animated show about a hyper dysfunctional family - The Simpsons. A main character of the show is the main families next door neighbor ... Ned Flanders. Ned is the epitome of a goody-two-shoes. He never curses, goes to church every Sunday, wears his mustache proudly and is absolutely devout. At times even more so than the town minister - Reverend Lovejoy. Naturally the main character Homer Simpson hates his neighbor, primarily because Ned is everything Homer isn't. 

So in all honesty, is Ned Flanders an accurate representation of a Christian? I have to say, partly, yeah. There are all kinds of stigma's out there about Christians. And to be fair, I'm really sick of being associated with "ignorant bigots."  I have been called that by people I don't know based solely on the fact that I am a follower of Jesus. Okay things just got real up in here people!  ... She said "Jesus" which is right up there with the F-Bomb!! Sweet Mercy! I'm embarrassed, is she gonna preach to me? What is this blog turning INTO?!?!

Okay woah ... take a breath .... iiiiinnnn and ooouuutt. Better? Great. No. I'm not going to preach, possibly teach, but definitely not preach. I'm also not going to throw Christianity down your throat. The SOLE purpose of this post is to hopefully shed some light on Christianity and religion, answer questions you MAY have and if nothing else, enlighten you. Even if Jesus isn't your thing, please finish this post. It's not too long, and you may just learn something!

There is a lot of talk about Christians and Christianity these days, especially with things like gay marriage on the ballot, it's turning into a bit of a he said she said all out war out there. Makes me sad. Sad to see so much hate back and forth. And in that battle (that I'm not really a part of) I end up being called names I don't deserve to be called which makes me very sad and a little angry to be frank. Now I can't go into everything with you today or this blog post would be about a thousand pages long and lets face facts, no one can tolerate that much of me. But here are some simple basics for those of you not "in the know."

First of all God loves everyone. Let's put that misnomer to bed right here and now. There are 2 kinds of Christians in the world, the minority of LOUD extremists who twist the truth to fit their ideals. THIS is the face of current Christianity and it's not right. They do NOT accurately reflect what and who God is. Then there is the MAJORITY of silent Christians. Those of us who believe in the Love, Peace, Joy, Grace, Mercy, Love, Power, Authority, Love, Kindness, Caring, Generosity, and Love of God. We believe these things, but because of the loud minority and those who do not want to know Christians as anything else, we are not heard. God's love cannot be heard above the noise. The noise of stigma, the noise of hatred, the noise of politics - too much noise. Or we do not speak up because we are too terrified of being persecuted based on the aforementioned stigma and being called an "ignorant fool" for saying that God loves everyone no exceptions. (That actually happened once, I'm not kidding.) So if you are gay, straight, single, married, happy, sad, divorced, lonely, devoted, lost, found, homeless, friendless, helpless, hopeless ... God loves you. He sees you no matter who you are, or where you are and He loves you beyond any love you could ever know in this life. The beauty of it is that there is probably no more IMPERFECT person that walks this earth than me. I mess up like it's my job ... pretty much literally. And the truth that I must face is that NO MATTER WHAT I DO ... God loves me. Doesn't matter if I don't like what I see in the mirror; hate my voice, hate my hair, hate my varicose veins before 30, hate my stomach, hate my ears, hate hate hate ...  God loves. He made me. He created everything about me JUST EXACTLY the way He wanted me. If nothing else that makes me take pause right there. To know I hate me and it makes my God sad. If I hate me and it makes Him sad, how do you think He feels when we hate each other????  God is Love. Even if you don't learn anything else in this post, know that.

Next. I've been told I'm an idiot because I told someone that Atheism is a religion. Well, I went to a Liberal Arts College and took 2 Religion classes there and learned a TON about many different religions, including my own. Hate to break it to you, but 2 Ph.D's of religion and apparently whomever wrote and published our text books agreed, Atheism is the belief in nothing - no God, no higher power, nothing. The definition of religion is the belief in something. Even if that belief is in nothing ... it's still a belief, thus making Atheism a religion. So if you denounce religion and consider yourself an Atheist ... know that you are still a religion. Just a fact. I didn't make the rules, I'm just followin em.

I may be the last man standing on this, but the Bible is a historical document. Yeah, I know, silly crazy Christie, there she goes again! So let's think this one through a little bit. There are sections of the current standard Bible - Old Testament and New Testament. The Old Testament is the section before Jesus, the NEW Testament tells about Jesus and what Christians believe - the Gospel or "Good News" about Jesus. (If you want to learn more about Jesus, I encourage you to pick up, borrow or download a Bible and skip on down to the New Testament and read about him. You can also use a new fangled thing called The Internets and Google you some Christ! Beware, that might not bring you the most accurate information, but if nothing else it's a start!) Now a lot of the Old Testament takes place - like it's a play or something - in or around Egypt. Mostly due to the fact that there was a time in history when the Egyptians used the Jews as slaves. Thanks to archeologists - The Indiana Jones's of the world we know that the Egyptians were master record keepers. They liked to write so much they invented paper - papyrus, processed palm leaves. They also had dudes called Scribes. Since not everyone in that day could write, it was considered a skill, there was a specific job just for people to walk around and write stuff down. No I'm not kidding. This was a time of the original tablet ... of stone. So they would go about and follow people around and write everything they said and did down, roll it up, and put it in storage. So back to the Bible, well we know that many of the passages of the Bible are accurate because we can compare them with official Egyptian records of the Pharaoh from the same time. They reflect the same dates, names and cities. Sometimes the actual event details can look a little different depending on who wrote it, but let's face facts, there are always 2 sides to every story - am I right? Needless to say, scholars have been able to verify much of the Bible  using other official documents from the Egyptians or the Romans who were ALSO amazing at writin stuff down. In fact, it's the Romans who killed Jesus, and they're the one's who wrote all that stuff down for us about the who, what, where, when, why etc. So thanks Romans! There are also sections of the Bible that are written in the form of a letter from one person to another or a set of people's. These letters were written down and saved, passed down for generations, collected and compiled. I will say that sometimes passages talk about our beliefs or personal stories or even prophecies - things that are less tangible, but never the less, the historical accuracy of the Bible shouldn't be discounted. Just somethin to think about and hopefully read about.

Lastly, if you are a skeptic, which many people are, I understand. If I'm honest and truthful with myself, which I'm often not - no Christie, that shirt does NOT accentuate your fupa! - I've had doubts about God myself. There are so many things that happen in this world and in our lives that sometimes it feels like God can't be real. If He was the world would be a perfect place. Our God is a loving and faithful God and made a promise to every one of us - believer or not - that He would always be there for us. Hurt with us, cry with us, comfort us, love us and never ever ever leave us. Even when we turn our back on Him, or have never known about Him, He is always there. Because He is our creator, our "Father", and He fulfills His promises. It has been proven in the past, and if we open our eyes to it, He does now too. The thing about belief is that it's tricky. God doesn't make Himself known in burning bushes that aren't consumed, or show up at the local watering hole in the form of a person like He did in the past. He's not that visible because He doesn't need to be. We need to be faithful without having seen or touched. And in an overstimulated society where if it doesn't look real we're unamused, that can be a hard thing. Which is why the reward is that much sweeter. I live my life with so much less stress, worry, hate, anger, fear, doubt, and anxiety because of my God.

Ned Flanders gets flack from Homer all the time about living such a tight life. Flanders lives in fear of going to hell so does everything including the impossible (it's a cartoon) to ensure that doesn't happen. But in doing so, he often DOES reflect a good Christian. He teaches his children about God and love, makes sure they are kind, treats Homer like he would want himself to be treated - even though Homer is consistent in his antagonizing, he is a community leader and is caring and compassionate toward others. These are the things that I wish more people could see. Instead of viewing all Christians as "do-gooder, ignorant, bigoted, fools" I wish we were considered the kindhearted, generous, caring, joyful, loving, voice of reason.

If you have more questions on Christianity, and I sincerely hope you do, here is a GREAT book for beginning your investigation: The Case For Christ by Lee Strobel. He was an Atheist who set out to completely disprove God, and during his quest became a Christian because of the undeniable evidence he found. This may not be the case for you, but it is an excellent resource for information and intellectual insights.

Lastly, please remember 2 things. First, God is Love. Second Christians aren't perfect - no one is. We try our imperfect best to put a little good into the world which is what God wants. And to be honest, we make mistakes. But that should not be a reason to write off an entire religion or lump a huge group of people (2.18 Billion Christians) into one little category. We are not all the same but true Christians should set somewhat of an example of how to live a joy filled, happy, loving life by caring for those around them. Doesn't mean they won't slip up, we're all human ... but it does mean if we have that happiness inside, we should try to spread it.

Hope this addressed at least SOME of the stigma associated with Christianity and that if you are not a follower of Christ, you would be open to educating yourself further on what that means - even if you never consider yourself a follower, it would be handy to have all the facts.

Thanks for listening ... er uh I mean reading and I sincerely hope this brought some light and insight into your life.

Leavin On A Jet Plane

Don't know when I'll be back again ... Sing it with me! Or not ... okay thanks for lettin me hang there!

My dad listens to the oldies station in Toledo, it's a great station, but it left me permanently scarred with hits from the 50's, 60's and 70's. When I was in college I used to lead the women's locker room in bouts of Build Me Up Buttercup. I think we all know I have an old soul okay?!

So wait now, what were we talking about? Oh Yes! Leaving on a plane, but definitely planning on returning! Right! Well, my family is in the midst of planning our first major family vacay. "Christie, where are you planning to go now that you've started this absolutely tremendous, life changing blog?!" - DISNEY! Oh yeah buddy, me, my husb, and my monkey are headin down to the sunshine state! Wow! Good for you Christie your family must be doing really well to afford a trip like that! Au contrare! We can afford it, but on the SUPER cheap.

Since my mom first called and told me about the opportunity (my mom, dad, brothers and their families are all going) I thought, no way Jay will go for this. To my shock and totally gladness he did! (Seriously hit me like a foul ball at an Astro's game --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQrJZ5ki-GY) But obviously I've been super pumped ever since. Now my family is on a super tight budget; squirming our way out of debt like a 300 pound man out of a wet speedo, so naturally the limitation on going is that we can only spend X amount. And it's a small amount. So I've been doing my darn best to google my way into the world's cheapest vacation.

Here's what I've found. Some interesting articles, but I've already planned a cheaper vacation than what I've read. Apparently, no one can out cheap the master. Either that, or no one wants to. So here's Christie's ultimate guide to the world's cheapest vacation.

First of all, we're traveling from Ohio to Florida. We have yet to decide mode of travel. It's by far the biggest decision, and one we are not at one about. My husband is a born driver. He's a mechanical engineer and LIVES, BREATHES, LOVES cars. Everything about em, including driving em. So naturally a 16-18 car drive couldn't be more up his alley. Me on the other hand, all I would be thinking about for nearly a day is being on a beach. Needless to say, I have absolutely ZERO desire to spend that long in a car with a 2 and a half year old. There isn't enough McDonald's or tablet apps on the PLANET to make that drive sane. So I want to fly. We've been looking into both options and here is the best way I've found to be cheap either way. The company my husband works for offers discounts on car rentals. If we drive we would have to rent a car. (Our current cars are not conducive for that kind of travel right now.) If we do rent a car, we would be looking to rent a vehicle with the best possible MPG to drive down spending the least amount on gas as possible. What my husband found was the Nisson Versa --> do a google search for Nisson Versa, the link was too long to post. Now, this car will get great gas mileage and be nearly new with regular maintenance thus making it a safe choice. Clean, dependable and cheap. Part of his logic for wanting to drive, besides his own demented desire to be seated for that long, is, we'll need something to drive while we're down there.  So ultimately, we could drive down to Florida for somewhere between $350-$400, overnight so as to let our little angel sleep as much as possible, stop 2-3 perhaps - gas, food, potty, and get to Florida sometime the next day. Flying is a whole other animal folks. It's tricky to coordinate, if you have a family you want a child friendly airline, and it's expensive. So here's what I know. My parents and brother's are leaving from Toledo, my fam leaving from Cleveland. They will most likely fly with Allegiant Air. A small but established airline that is by FAR the cheapest way to fly if you're leaving from and going to the right destinations. They have flights from $74 one way. That being said, they have a LOT of fees and it costs to check a bag - that's always where they getcha! So I've been digging and recently saw a post on a mom's Facebook page of a woman asking frequent travelers who they fly with. The OVERWHELMING response was Southwest. They already have a good reputation in my book, but that seals it. The comments were that they are the cheapest, 2 free bags per person, they are child friendly - YES!, and an overall good experience. Got on their site, they are currently having a $59 fly anywhere one way deal. Obviously this doesn't apply to anywhere anywhere. Select destinations, but I WAS able to find one way tickets to and from Florida from Flint, MI for $97 per person each way. Now, Flint is a little further than Magellan over here originally envisioned. So it would be better to Fly out of Detriot for $131 per person each way. Still the cheapest tickets I have found so far. Either way you choose the BEST thing you can do to ensure the cheapest mode possible, is for you to ask around. Post on Facebook, see who has discounts you can use, whom amongst your friends have unused frequent flyer miles, etc. Call individual locations rather than booking online, with some negotiation they may be able or willing to give you a better price than what is standard on the web. Also with Southwest child rates ARE available, just NOT on the website!

Second is where we will be staying. This is really what made us make the decision to go. Through friends of my parents, we are staying in a timeshare Villa for $200 for a week. It sleeps 8 and has a full kitchen and one heckofa pool. --> http://www.ihg.com/holidayinnclubvacations/hotels/us/en/kissimmee/discv/hoteldetail/photos-tours How did we get this deal? Friends who are generous. I'm not entirely sure, but my parents friends got the deal through the time share company and offered it to my parents. That being said, it is a Timeshare. There will be a schpiel. My parents have graciously offered to sit through it. They are going in knowing they cannot afford anything, and therefore won't be buying anything, and that sitting in a room for a few hours listening to a hard sell is worth their family having a good time. Thanks Grandma! What does this mean? My parents purchased the Villa. Their gift for all of us. Even if we did have to pay, you can't find accommodations like that cheaper anywhere ... ever. Our share would be $50 ... for a week. Did I mention the resort has a 12 acre water park? Finding a deal like this means several things. First of all we don't have to buy tickets to a water park. We also don't have to eat every meal  out. Now obviously, when you travel you're not always going to a place like this where such accommodations are available. So I'm going to give a tip I'm stealing from an article I read on cheap travel. Get a hotel with a mini fridge and a microwave. Google search recipe's you can make in a hotel room and save yourself some dough on eating out every meal. Also, rely on snack foods like granola bars, fruit snacks and peanut butter crackers to get you there, back and in between meals. They're easy to pack and if you do your homework, can be purchased pretty cheaply. Try not to buy all your snacks at one time. It will cost the same no matter how you split it, but it's more easily digested by your budget if you split it up. And remember, whenever possible, impose on friends! Staying with friends may almost ALWAYS be the cheapest option.

Lastly, Disney theme park tickets. Here are some things you need to know. Don't rely on a Facebook giveaway to get your tickets. Okay maybe that's just me and I'm not lucky, but it's never a guarantee and winning things can come with stipulations, like availability dates on the tickets. You may only be able to use the tickets during certain times which  might not coincide with your vacation dates. Also, children under 3 get in FREE at Disney parks. This was a hard decision for my husband, knowing that our peanut might not remember anything from this vacation. The way I see it, this is a most likely once in a lifetime opportunity to go with her cousins - we'll take plenty of pictures and video's, she can reminisce the rest of her life! (And me too) Plus, we don't have to pay for her to get in to the parks. Huge win. Another thing to remember, is most places offer military discounts. If you know someone in the military, chances are most of us do, contact them to see what they can do. Sometimes you must present a military ID with your ticket, so make sure that won't be necessary in advance. Otherwise, you'll get a nice discounted price on your tickets. It's sounds cheesy when you read it, I know, and if it's not something you're comfortable with then obviously don't do it. But for me my brothers are in the military, so it's a no brainer to ask them if they can help us. Sometimes they can, and sometimes they can't. For me it never hurts to ask.

Bottom line, it's not all about what you know when traveling but WHO you know. Much like in life the best way to get by is by contacting those you know for help. Seek advice on social networking sites and see what people come back with. Talk with people at your church, your work, your library moms group - you'll be surprised and the great ideas you'll be presented with. Things you may not have seen or even heard about! Also, keep checking various sites for good deals. Travel prices change FREQUENTLY so you never know from one day to the next what will be available. CALL rental car companies rather than accepting the online prices, a small bit of negotiating can mean a big difference on your bill. And THINK through your choices. Plan out a total budget ahead of time and STICK WITH IT. Not knowing how much you want to spend leaves the door wide open to haul home a trunk full of goofy dolls and mickey hats.

Good luck! And safe travels!

So It's Been Awhile

Yep. Back on the writing horse again. Good thing I don't have too many readers dependent on my witty musings awaiting posts! But seriously, thank you to all of you who do stick with me and read when I write - it's appreciated!

A good friend of mine reposted a blog article on Facebook - have to say I'm jealous I'm not at that level of getting reposted yet! She said this was exactly how she felt about parenting so naturally, I'm in. I have to say I loved the article. Because I agreed with 90% of what was said, but also because it was nearly written as if I wrote it. Minus the run on sentences. It was a short commentary not only on parenting but what our society has come to as a whole.

While we each have our own opinions on where this world is going, I'm going to have to agree with this particular blogger - that we are all too reliant on our blessings. Every one has all these emergency problems that really aren't problems at all. She reiterated the same commonly used phrase - First. World. Problems.

A bunch of people from my church are taking a mission trip to Ecuador in August to help serve at a church that was financially supported by our church, and visit with children they sponsor there. Which makes you think. These people have so little, they rely on financial support from people they will most likely never meet in another country to make life possible. Now that's a problem. Not that you left your iPhone charger at home and your phone is dead. Candy Crush Saga will have to wait.

Over the last couple of days my sink has piled up with dishes and things that went too long in the fridge. Today I started the tedious task of tackling that mountainous load of nasty. Well my kitchen sink is on the fritz and I'm getting frustrated, wanting to get things cleaned up but can't because the drains back up when I run water and the disposal pushes water into the other side of the sink ... NAS. But then, I reflect and think ... Garbage disposal, food, dishes, ... SINK. First world problems. I honestly couldn't agree more. Why do I let these things bother me? What does that attitude say to my daughter? Here Emma, please grow up completely ungrateful for all the amazing opportunities and blessings our family has because we don't have the right kind of tablet for you to play on. Or because you won't have a cell phone before you're 10 ... don't get your hopes up pumpkin, I'm tellin you now it ain't happenin!

One thing I focused on when I was pregnant was parents in public and how they interacted with their children. I was in the grocery one day and vowed to never name my kid Bella. Why? Because there was a mother traipsing around the entire store - seemingly following me - calling her pretty little Bella 987 billion times ... "Bella, come here Bella! Bella baby come here! Bella! Bella want a cookie! Bella Baby! Come here Bella!" I'll be honest, I LOVE children, but by the end of my trip I wanted to smack little Bella who wouldn't behave for more than 3 seconds with or with out a cookie bribe. I could be wrong, but I've seen children like this in my swim lessons before who get what they want. If I act like this and resist long enough, mom/dad/whomever will give me what I want. Discipline and take charge parental attitude is gone and is replaced with - here, take, it's yours, whatever you want - it's easier that way. But just because it's easier, does that make it right?

Now I understand, every parent is different and certainly every child is different, so I'm not judging, we do what we need to to get through the day. But we should make more conscience choices shouldn't we? Shouldn't we be striving to teach our children something more? I sometimes feel that gets lost in the shuffle.

Sure it's popular to joke and say that when we can't decide where to go for lunch, Chipotle or Panera, we have first world problems ... but we really DO have First World Problems. We are the richest people in the world and sometimes we forget that.

So here's a challenge to you - parent or not - don't have a "First World Problem" for a week. Now I don't mean don't let anything happen ... I mean, don't post about it on Facebook with the joke line attached. Things will go wrong, some bigger than others, but it doesn't have to bother us. It doesn't have to ruin the moment. When we get to the boiling point of - I can't freakin believe this is happening to me - we can go ahead and think about the people in Africa who are welcomed onto military bases for work and eat out of dumpsters. Desperation. Children who's mother was murdered in front of them and their father is in prison with AIDS and they are in an orphanage. Abandoned. Parents who have no choice but to give their children up because they can barely feed themselves let alone another mouth. Survival. Those are problems. Not you leaving your cell phone out in the rain ... yeah I'm an idiot, I know.

Challenge yourself to see the realities and handle it. I'm challenging myself.

I swear I won't cry when the last Klondike is gone ... SWEAR!