Just For Giggles N Grins

So with the intensity of the election, the hurricane, my last intense blog post about Human Trafficking, and the quickly approaching holiday's, I feel it's time for some humor. This blog post isn't really relevant and there is no topic other than to make you laugh! Jokes and true stories to give a lift to your day! ENJOY!

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel around his man stuff. Bar tender goes, "What's with the wheel?" Pirate goes, "YAR! It's driving me nuts!"
My mom made me tell that to my 70 something year old grandfather and he really cracked up!

What do you get when you cross a Dyslexic, an Agnostic (Someone who questions whether there is a God), and an Insomniac? A Person who stays awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog.

What do you call a blonde in a freezer? A Frosted Flake.

True story, I caught my kid eating the tips off of her jumbo crayons the other day. When I ran over to get the piece she just bit out of her mouth, which was yellow, some green and some blue came out too. After putting the crayons away, I noticed bite marks on all the tips. Yep, I'm raising a genius! Brightest crayon in the box you might say!!

To protest some new rules my dog has been eating WHOLE brand new boxes of tissues. He's eaten about 5 or 6 boxes now and is still pooping out Puff's.

I'm not really sure how I've gone 28 years and never worn Yoga pants til now. BEST $15 I have ever spent in my entire life. And now I know what I'm wearin for Thanksgiving! Pants I'm Thankful for!

My dad and his siblings knew a kid growing up that they called "Richie the pushing boy". I honestly can't even type that with out laughing. He was playing with matches and started a pile of dry leaves on fire at my grandparents old house, which my Aunt, and dad's youngest sister, subsequently tried to put out with more dry leaves.

Once when I was in third or fourth grade, I was in gym class and I had to go potty REAL bad. (Number 1 in case you're wondering - NOSY!) And we were getting measured. Well I wasn't thinking things through and thought I could wait until after I got measured to ask to go. Hello Ding Dong! My maiden name ALSO starts with M, and we went alphabetical. So by the time it was my turn I was practically bent over with my tiny bladder bursting. I stood there waiting for my teacher to hurry and take my measurement.  I was wearing a plastic headband that day, and he thought the tapping of the ruler on my headband was the funniest thing since Johnny Carson and spent, what felt like 10 minutes, tapping my dang heandband and laughing til I literally wet my pants and ran off to the restroom. I had to go to the office and get new non wet clothes to spend the rest of the day. Thanks Mr. Ray. Thanks so much.

Once when my kiddo was about 3 months old, she sneezed and out popped the BIGGEST booger I've ever seen right on her face. Instead of being a kind mommy I laughed my head off and made her wait til I got a decent picture of it before wiping it off.

Sometimes when my dog sees himself in a reflective surface like our fireplace doors or a dishwasher, he thinks it's another dog and starts going bananas. He'll even try to walk around to see where the other dog is but then come back and keep barking.

Once my husband and I spent New Years up at my grandparents place in Michigan. My mom's sister, my Aunt bought those of us of age in the family peppermint shot glasses. So naturally after we had gone home from the party with my grandparents friends (Which was one of the best parties I've ever been to with a bunch of 70 and 80 year old's by the way) I suggested we do some peppermint patties. It's a shot of peppermint schnapp's and then you squirt some hershey's syrup in your mouth, then shake your head. (Or opposite order depending on how frisky you're feeling.) The shots were a hit and my whole family did at least one, including my 70+ year old grandparents. After having had a couple, Jay said he was done and my grandmother called him a wuss. After being called out naturally he had to oblige. Best. Night. Ever.

Last joke. Three boys were out fishing after a huge storm. They stumble upon former President Bill Clinton clinging to his life jacket. The boys pull him aboard. "Thank you so much boys, I was thrown over board in the storm! Thank you for saving my life. Since you saved me I'll give you anything you want just name it." First kid says "Okay I want a million bucks!" Bill pulls out his checkbook cuts the kid a check for a million. Second kid thinks and says, "I want to go to West Point!" Clinton says "Okay as soon as you're old enough, I'll make certain that you are automatically accepted to West Point." Third kid thinks for even longer. Then he finally says "I want a spot in Arlington National Cemetery." Bill looks at him funny, what's a young kid want with that?? He goes "Why?" Kid says "When my dad finds out I saved Bill Clinton's life he's gonna kill me!"
(Feel free to retell this joke inserting any President. I learned it when Clinton was in office and it won a radio contest once!)

Hope you were able to find some humor and laugh a little! Enjoy your day and feel free to share the jokes and spread the smiles! You know people who laugh live longer!

Attention Ladies

So I go to a church here in Cleveland that does things a little differently. One of the coolest things they do is invite the people who attend to go to small groups that meet throughout the city weekly with 12-15 members who sit around, eat and talk about God. Really neat discussions and super valuable insight on life, love and what it means to be Christian.

That being said, some months ago one of my very good friends and a woman who went to my group brought up during discussion an e-mail her mom sent her. It was a forward that her mom had gotten from friends but it was different than any other forward. It was a prayer request for a little baby in India named Sweetie. Sweetie isn't just any regular baby, she is the same age as my friend and I's daughters and she is tied to a pole being beaten, neglected and abused so that she will not know love and be a perfect submissive prostitute. If you don't know love how can you complain when you don't get it? If you are accustomed to being beaten, why would you raise a ruckus when it happens? This tiny baby was born to a woman who is owned for prostitution in a brothel. When this happens, the children are raised to also be prostitutes. This was my first encounter with Human Trafficking and it absolutely broke my heart beyond measure.

Wait Christie this doesn't sound right. Is this like one of those Nigerian Prince schemes? You tryin to get ma money?! No I'm not. And this is real. I know this because there is a missionary organization who is trying to save her. They send pictures and updates. And the worst part is, Sweety is just one of hundreds upon thousands.

Why am I writing about this? Because my friend made a commitment to that group the day she told us that story, to wage a war on the sexual exploitation of women and children. To combat and fight tooth and nail to end this. I then and there vowed to help her as best I could. During our research and education, we have found that this is a tragedy happening on our doorsteps. Right in our own backyard. Cleveland and Toledo are 2 of the top cities for Human Trafficking in the country. Which made my resolve that much higher since I live in Cleveland and am from Toledo.

So what is Human Trafficking??? I don't understand? People tying babies to polls? Human Trafficking is modern day slavery. It is people being bought and sold or held, against their will through force, fraud or coercion for the purposes of sexual exploitation or labor. It can be through recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, or obtaining a person in anyway for the purposes mentioned above. These all, in any combination, constitute Human Trafficking. This underground crime is the fastest growing branch of crime in the world. It is second only to drugs and revenues more than 32 Billion dollars a year. That's more than Nike, Starbucks and Google COMBINE. It is an epidemic. The traffickers are smart criminals who know what to say and do to keep victims silent. They addict them to drugs, beat them, steal identification paper work, blackmail them and threaten their lives and the lives of those they love. The upside to switching to human trafficking versus other forms of criminal activity is the fact that the same human being can be used over and over again, while weapons and drugs can only be sold once.

Seriously I thought this only happened over seas like Taken style. Actually it is approximated that 800,000 - 900,000 victims are trafficked across international borders annually. Between 18,000 and 20,000 are trafficked INTO the United States. Nearly half that number are thought to be children used for sex. That statistic should appall you.

How many people are actually affected by this in Ohio? What does Ohio have to do with anything? First of all due to Ohio's location and it's extensive highways it makes it a mecca (so to speak) for traffickers. It's easy to get almost anywhere very quickly. We also have may areas with hotels right off of major highways that are considered "hot spots" for trafficking. American born youth in Ohio at risk to be trafficked for sex is 2,879 yearly. Youth in Ohio actually trafficked for the purposes of sex are 1,078 every year. 

This is a very underground crime that only started to have a voice 5 years ago. It has been happening for decades but most people never knew about it. Mostly due to the fact that victims either didn't know what was being done to them was a crime, blamed themselves for the situation, or were simply brainwashed never to speak of it. Needless to say legislation is just now being created to punish traffickers. Now victims are BRAVELY stepping forward to give their stories. To tell people this is happening where you live, and to educate people so the problem can be stopped.

It's a whole new war of crime that can happen anywhere and affect everyone. I am a trained speaker/presenter on the subject and could and can literally talk for hours on the subject. The purpose of this blog post was to create awareness. The number one action step to helping fight this and prevent more victims in through education. Always educating. So please, share this blog post. Not to promote me or my blog, but to raise awareness, to get people involved and most importantly give this crime a voice. If it has a voice it can't be silent. Women and children don't have to suffer silently anymore. They should know that people who don't know them are out there caring and trying to save them.

If you want to further educate yourself on Human Trafficking, please visit one of the following websites or feel free to contact me personally anytime.

www.collaborativeinitiative.org  This is the organization I was trained through and where my statistics come from
www.warinternational.org  VISIT THIS SITE!!!!!!! These are the people helping Sweetie
www.traffickfree.com Website of trafficking victim Theresa Flores
www.bjcb,org Help our youth!
www.polarisproject.org

Additional websites:
www.imginefreedom.org
www.sctnow.org
www.notforsalecampaign.org
www.rights4girls.org
www.abolitioninternational.org

If you have seen something suspicious or know someone who may be in trouble please call this anonymous toll free number to report it: 1-888-3737-888. They will take any reports or claims seriously and launch a case file which in turn gets handed over to local authorities to launch investigations.

Please consider being part of the solution to end this atrocity. Thank You.

*All statistics came from Collaborative Initiative to End Human Trafficking and are part of the presentation I have been trained to give. Additionally, further information has been gained through my own investigation and education on the subject matter or given to me by my very good friend and leader of our front.*

Bandwagon Jumpin

My husband was getting ready to leave for work this morning and couldn't find his employee badge that allows him into certain areas of work. Essentially he needs it to get through the day! So after listening to him search for a few minutes in vain, I get out of bed and start helping him look. After a few minutes, he found it. Needless to say I couldn't go back to sleep right away after he left, but I didn't feel like starting my day either. So I got back in bed and started cuddling with my dog and did some facebooking. What most people do when they have time to kill.

I noticed yesterday some people posting about 30 days of Thankful. Then again this morning. And I was thinking what the heck? They were all really nice posts about what or who people are thankful for. I just had never heard that there was a "movement." When it comes to these types of things I'm usually a day late and a dollar short. But in spite of that, I eventually figured out that this November instead of just being Thankful 1 day, Thanksgiving, why not be thankful all month long?!

So I did it, I made the bandwagon jump to do what so many others are doing and make one post per day about what I'm thankful for. As most of you have figured out I'm not a big bandwagon jumper-oner. It's not me. I don't wear trendy clothes,  I'm not hip to all the cool kid websites, and I don't take my kid to story time every week. (It could either stem from the fact that I'm the LEAST perfect person on the planet OR the fact that some things just don't suit me. Or the fact that we spontaneously were at the library today when story time was going down and decided to join and my spunky monkey couldn't stay still on mommies lap OR keep from laughing extremely loud so everyone looked at us every time we were supposed to clap.) But this is different. This is something me of all people can wholeheartedly get behind. And in fact I think EVERYONE should get behind.

Sometimes you will see hashtags (#) when people make funny remarks about the related post #i'mhisterical. A lot of them are people complaining about first world problems. It's good that we recognize we are being ridiculous, but we also need to stop. I just got done reading a book, in literally record time for me, called Burned Alive by Souad. ( http://www.amazon.com/Burned-Alive-Survivor-Killing-Speaks/dp/0446694878/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351880150&sr=8-1&keywords=Burned+Alive ) It is a book about a woman who survived being set on fire. An attempt by her family to kill her because she dishonored her family. She comes from a world where women are literally treated as less than animals. She grew up with her father telling her that the animals are worth more and far more valuable than she is. She was beaten black and blue daily by her father and eventually her brother. A world where men are the only one's with power and a woman is to only be a servant to the men. She is required by law to be a virgin at marriage, which usually happens by age 14, and if she does ANYTHING outside of keeping her head down, working like a slave, tolerating beatings then she will be killed. Honestly, to fully grasp what she went through you must read the book. But that gives you an idea of what I just read over the last week.

How often have we taken for granted the lifestyles we lead? How often do we not recognize the simple freedom of going outside whenever we want? Or reading a book? Or wearing anything other than the same 2 articles of clothing? These are all things Souad experienced, that I never have. And I can't believe how ungrateful I am.

So when my mind finally caught on, I was like oh heck yeah! I put two in the same day to catch up, but yesterday I was thankful that my house leaked during all the rain but never flooded and we never lost power! Which around here is a big deal from all the rain and wind given to us by Hurricane Sandy. Today I am thankful that my husband works so hard for our family. I didn't put this in the post, but he really does work and slave so that we can live in a house, pay our bills, get out of debt. Sometimes I'm not nearly as thankful for him as I should be.

So in light of the 30 days of Thankful. I vow to be thankful everyday. Not just in November but all year round. For the things that I have, the people I love, and the life I have been blessed to live.

I encourage you to do the same thing. It's not too late. It's never too late to be Thankful.

What are you Thankful for?????

Grace and Blessings.
Christie